tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20604882236875712302024-03-13T03:50:16.079-07:00The World As I See It...Random thoughts from a random mind.GraceFallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16353766213324906708noreply@blogger.comBlogger226125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060488223687571230.post-8776158729275250032013-09-27T10:28:00.001-07:002013-09-27T10:28:31.135-07:00Pandora and The Universe Do you have any weird or quirky superstitions or believe in signs from the universe ? We all know the common ones about black cats and ladders and things like that, but do you have any that are pretty specific to just you?<br />
<br />
I am, by nature, already kinda weird and quirky, so I am sure that I have list an list of these, but I was just reminded of one...<br />
<br />
<br />
Maybe it's not so much of a superstition, but more of a personal theory...not sure.<br />
<br />
Anyway....<br />
<br />
I have often said that there are certain songs that are a staple on my personal 'soundtrack to my life'. There is one song in particular that I love that I have always just had a feeling that when/if it should play when I was around someone that I have a mad crush on, that is all the sign that I need from the universe that the crush is 'the one' and that we will fall madly in love.<br />
<br />
So, now that you know that...here is a story for you :)<br />
<br />
A while back I was spending the day with a certain someone. We were just hanging around my house not really doing too much but chatting and listening to music. The station that I hadon plays the SONG all the time. ALL THE TIME. Like every time I have this Pandora station on, it plays. Knowing this, I made a mental note to keep an ear out for the song to come on while I was hanging out with this certain someone.<br />
<br />
Hours went by. A nice afternoon was spent. The certain someone went home.<br />
<br />
TWO FREAKING SONGS AFTER HE LEFT.....THE SONG CAME ON!<br />
<br />
Looking back on it, the guy was an ass and that song would have totally been wasted on him, so....thank you, universe for taking the time to send me a sign!<br />
<br />
I know it's silly, but I just KNOW that one day, that song will come on and it will be with the right person around to hear it too. For now....hmmm.....hope the 30 cats that I am getting ready to buy like it! <br />
<br />
:) GraceFallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16353766213324906708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060488223687571230.post-85128581336859219742013-09-09T12:44:00.002-07:002013-09-09T12:44:50.895-07:00Did they just say that?Years ago, I posted about my hatred for the term, 'hanging out'. That was later replaced with the super irritating saying, 'hooking up'. Yesterday, a whole new bundle of craptastic hit my world, 'activly fucking'.<br />
<br />
WTF? REALLY? <br />
<br />
What the hell does that even mean?<br />
<br />
**For the sake of not wanting to offend anyone, I will just use AF for the rest of this post. See, I'm nice like that**<br />
<br />
I had to give this saying some thought. <br />
<br />
First, f******, is a verb, a doing word, so I am not sure that actively really needs to placed in front of it. Shouldn't currently be a better choice?<br />
<br />
Second, what happens when you are not 'AF' status? Do you get switched to not actively f******, or NAF? How do you even use this in conversation? "Yeah, at the moment we are not actively f*****, can you pass the salt?" It sounds like you have been benched or something. If there were to be a fantasy sex league, would AF or NAF be categories for player???<br />
<br />
I am guessing that I will have to post on this subject again later. <br />
<br />
:)<br />
GraceFallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16353766213324906708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060488223687571230.post-30521290333224925202013-09-06T11:12:00.001-07:002013-09-06T11:12:08.698-07:00I can't date a guy that thinks bacon comes in a circle My options for meeting people are limited. <br />
Day job- Mostly chicks <br />
Mom life - A few single dads, but I try and avoid that<br />
Weekend job - I am not dating some young douche bag club dude who thinks that he is the best thing on the planet **by the way, best thing on this planet title goes to a burger when you are hungover** Just so you know. <br />
<br />
So once again, mostly for laughs, I signed up with an online dating service.<br />
Now...if you have read this blog, YOU KNOW that this has never ended well. EVER. NOT ONCE. But I am a slow learner and I really don't want to buys cats.. so I did it.<br />
<br />
Signed up. Posted some pics. Filled out all the questions. Sat back and waited to see who I was going to have to block due to becoming a stalker....<br />
<br />
Waited....<br />
Waited some more...<br />
<br />
Oh hey....my 'you are matched with' email is here!!!<br />
<br />
WTF?!? ALL OF MY MATCHES ARE IN CANADA? REALLY??<br />
<br />
Again...WTF?!?!?!<br />
<br />
So, this is what this round of online dating has taught me.... I HAVE TO LEAVE THE FREAKING COUNTRY TO DATE!<br />
<br />
<br />
Not too sure how I feel about this one yet. My plan at the moment is to drink enough that I am going to need that best thing in the world (burger, not club dude) when I wake up in the morning. <br />
<br />
:) <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
GraceFallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16353766213324906708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060488223687571230.post-61824698534678373252013-08-30T10:07:00.000-07:002013-08-30T10:07:16.711-07:00Do you see what I see?<br />
If you are in a car, we can see you. Unless you are in a super tinted vehicle or in the back of a creepy windowless van, we can see you. <br />
<br />
<br />
The things people can see - <br />
<br />
<br />
The Picker.<br />
Yes. THE PICKER. We have all seen you. The guy with his figure lodged up in a nostril for the whole commute. Dude! I am stuck next to you on a tiny freeway. I want to look at something else. ANYTHING ELSE, but sadly, you are in my line of vision and I am stuck looking at you and wondering if you have reached brain matter yet. And then I have to wonder, does he have a tissue? What the hell is he doing with that finger if/when it comes out of his nose? <br />
<br />
The Dancer.<br />
*guilty*<br />
The Dancer is the person who is rocking out THE WHOLE WAY. I personally love the dancer. I AM THE DANCER! To all the other Car Dancers out in the world, own that shit! When you get caught car dancing (and you will. Remember, we can see you) look back at the person that caught you and smile. Let them know that you know that they know and just go with it. The person will probably smile, unless they are dead inside. I follow this smile up with a mental "You're welcome. Have a great day!" <br />
<br />
<br />
:) <br />
<br />
GraceFallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16353766213324906708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060488223687571230.post-64112382216289593552013-03-13T08:50:00.001-07:002013-03-13T08:50:15.759-07:00Guys like the socks...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-cqJB12N9FIY/UUCf7vkWjSI/AAAAAAAABTE/9wfgZaeDp-E/s1600/irish+sock.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-cqJB12N9FIY/UUCf7vkWjSI/AAAAAAAABTE/9wfgZaeDp-E/s320/irish+sock.jpg" width="309" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Since I have not gotten any new knee highs in a while, and I
don’t want to post the same old photos, I decided to not post any new sock of
the day photos for a while.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I got a few “NOOOO”
comments and not only did that make me laugh, but it got me thinking….what is
it with guys and the socks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have
female friends who like the socks as well, and I love that they think of me
when they see some cool knee highs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That
I understand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The guys, nope…I don’t get
that one (but I am often clueless about sexy things).<o:p> </o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Guys like the socks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p> </o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
I will be out and run into friends and they will ask if I
have knee highs on (most often, the answer is yes). If I don’t post a photo for
a while, I will get a message asking why.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There has even been talk of leaving the socks on in certain private
moments (the answer to that one is NO!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
think that’s weird).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The socks have
kinda taken on a life of their own. <o:p> </o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Guys like the socks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But I have no idea why!<o:p> </o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Ok…I can see the whole naught school girl, knee high, short
skirt thing. Or even the short shorts, knee high thing that Chrissie was
rocking in the 1980’s on Three’s Company.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Those looks can be hot.<o:p> </o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
I am not sporting those looks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ever!<o:p> </o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Here are some facts about the socks and sock of the day pic…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<o:p> </o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
While it may look like it in some photos, I am not just
hanging around my house wearing nothing but knee highs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sorry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’m just not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s winter. It’s
cold and shit.<o:p> </o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
On that same note, I am not wearing the socks with short skirts
(catholic school girl or otherwise).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Most of the time I am wearing them at work, under respectable work
cloths or with jeans and sneakers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yup,
nothing says sexy like some argyle socks and some Chucks and or Addidas
sneakers. To me, this says, I am cold and can’t walk all that well in
heels.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or I am cold, can’t walk well in
heels and I am a dork.<o:p> </o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
I hate my legs and try and keep them covered at all times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Socks are great for that.<o:p> </o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
My socks are boring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Truth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wear the same type of
socks all the time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stripes. Argyle. Polka
dots. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
In the sock world, I am a buttoned up Republican. <o:p> </o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Ok…now that I have moved the curtain and let you take a peek
at the great and powerful Oz of <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The land
of Knee High…do you still find it all that sexy? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<o:p> </o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Maybe I should start a something else of the day pic?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Something random like old school scrunchies?</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Or maybe I’ll just update my knee highs…..</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<o:p> </o:p></div>
GraceFallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16353766213324906708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060488223687571230.post-89648461207373283642013-03-12T14:25:00.001-07:002013-03-12T14:25:50.392-07:00Damn you, NetflixAmazonHuluPlus!
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
I have been keeping a secret list.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One that I am not proud of.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The numbers on this list are embarrassingly
high.<o:p> </o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
This list is shameful and I am almost too embarrassed to admit
what is on this list to the world (or the 4 people that read my blog).</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
WHAT COULD THIS LIST BE?<o:p> </o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
The list of TV shows that I have completed over the last two
months.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And not just a random show here
and there…completed the series…ON ALL OF THEM. :hangsheadinshame:<o:p> </o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Not proud.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even less
of a proud moment when I took the time to write the list out (hey, I had to do
something while I was sitting at home watching all these shows).<o:p> </o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
THE LIST:</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
10 Items or less</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Retired at 35</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Best Food Ever</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Louie</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Bobs Burgers</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
I Married a Mobster</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Sons of Tucson</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Hot In Cleveland</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Ink Master</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Best Friends Forever</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Psych</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Undeclared</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Parks & Rec</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
The League</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Happily Divorced</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
The Exes</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
United States of Tara</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Melisa & Joe</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Jane By Design</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Drop Dead Diva</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Reaper</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Traffic Light</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
BunHeads</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Friends With Benefits</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
The Fabulous Beakman Boys</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Good Guys</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Baby Daddy</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
How to be a Gentleman</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
My Boys</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Extreme Couponing</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Friday Night Lights</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<o:p> </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Yep…still full of shame.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And it’s not so much the time spent watching these shows, but the shows
themselves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mellissa and Joey?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>REALLY?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>ACK.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can never claim to have
any street cred after admitting to that little jem.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p> </o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My one and only
defense is that I don’t sleep much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And
yes, I guess I could have been using this time to figure out world peace or
find a cure for cancer, but I am pretty sure that those two things can’t be
done while wearing flannel jammies.</div>
<br />
Hmmm.....what show should I add to that list this week? GraceFallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16353766213324906708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060488223687571230.post-24976041557161186372013-02-15T12:59:00.001-08:002013-02-15T12:59:21.777-08:00Can I buy a monthly pass to ride the sin wagon?Forgive me Blog Readers, as I have sinned. <br />
<br />
**For the record, I am not Catholic, so that statement is recited purely based on movies that I have seen. And based on what sort of movie, now I can either have zombies invade my town, a hit man come after me, be a part of a government cover up or fall in love with my best friend who is set to marry my sister. If I have to pick one....I'd go with the zombie invasion.<br />
<br />
<br />
Anyway...I feel that I have sinned a whole bunch this week. And while none of my sins are really bad sins or for that matter even listed specifically in the bible, I am sure they could all be tied to something on the list. You know, the list of all the big, sit in a box with a priest kind of sins. Sloth, gluttony, wearing white after Labor Day. THE BIG SINS.<br />
<br />
So here is my confessions (yes, I did just sing that like Usher) and they are in no particular order.<br />
<br />
1) Within the span of 24 hours, I single handily ate a whole FAMILY sized bag of Cheetos. The.Whole.Thing. And most of that Cheetos eatin' was done while laying in bed at 3am. Sloth? Gluttony? Breaking every Weight Watchers rule known to man? Yes, yes and I am going with a third yes.<br />
<br />
There is a good chance that the color orange with cause uncontrollable vomiting.<br />
<br />
2) To go hand in hand with the first sin, we have my supremely unhealthy amount of sloth like laziness this past week. Pretty much I would just go home, hop in bed and sit in a comfortable Netflix high until 3:30am. Rinse and repeat for the next day. Who does that? My bed is starting to get a permanent indent from my butt. No one should spend that much time in bed unless they are ill or naked with another person.<br />
<br />
3) Spent waaaay too much time thinking about the ex. I blame the fact that Thursday was Valentines Day and I was feeling all alone and pissed that he dumped me for someone else. He lied and cheated. I know that is goes against all bible stuff, but I don't want him to be happy... yet. Yeah....this one might fall under the self pity sin. Hey, not sleeping and having your hands turn a freakish orange color will mess with your head! I think that this one might not be a sin, but fall under the 'thou shall not covet...' listing. I'll have to do some google research or ask Siri. <br />
<br />
4) My house. UGH. While I am not at the Horders or calling child protective services or anything, it's a pit. One of the things that I hate the most is a dirty house. It bothers me so much that since 9am today, going home and cleaning it has been pretty much the only thing that I have thought about. WHO THE HELL WANT'S TO CLEAN ON A FRIDAY NIGHT? Hmmm....maybe I am not a sinner, but mental? Again, I'll look into that.<br />
<br />
5) Pinterest. Yes, I KNOW that this one is not in the bible. Well, I don't own a bible, so I did not double check, but I am almost 97% sure. This sin is due to the time suck that it has created in my life. So many crafts. So many recipes. So many....things that I honestly have no clue how to re create, so I am not even sure why I am looking. The only good thing that I can say about this one it, at least while I was looking at Pinterest, I was not eating Cheetos. I would hate to get my phone all covered with orange! <br />
<br />
So....there you have it. My list of sins for the last week. I am not sure what I do next. Not sure if the hail Mary's or whatnot's count in this situation or at all for me, seeing as I am Lutheran.<br />
<br />
How about I just vow to step away from the Cheetos?<br />
GraceFallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16353766213324906708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060488223687571230.post-62161877204522667332013-01-31T15:13:00.001-08:002013-01-31T15:13:43.436-08:00Never piss off a girl that likes to wear costumes...Let me start by saying that I am not an angry person or vengeful. I try my best to be nice and I honestly feel bad if I hurt someone and I go about fixing whatever it was that I did immediately.<br />
<br />
All that being said, I have been giving a lot of thought to revenge over the past few days. Pretty sure it is due to the fact that I was stuck at home in bed sick and watched a marathon of Revenge and the Soprano's...two shows that go great with a cold med high.<br />
<br />
After watching Revenge, my main thought was, DANG....that is a whole lot of work! I am not really willing to commit the time that it would take to plan that sorta thing. And honestly, I am just too dang impatient. I get antsy with the amount of time it takes to microwave my hot pocket. Pretty sure a multi-year revenge plan would drive me insane. Oh...and I'm lazy. That girl on that show puts in some work. She has mad ninja skills. No thank you.<br />
<br />
I am guessing that my revenge needs would be better suited with a Soprano's, break your knee caps sort of plan. They got shit done and none of them were in really all that great of shape. And it was instant! No years of planning or learning how to be a ninja required. OH....and they got to be vengeful while wearing valour track suits. SIGN ME THE HELL UP!<br />
<br />
Ok...I kid. I would never be able to go the horse head in your bed type of revenge either. Knowing me, I would feel guilty for even thinking about it and send flowers. Yeah...I am really not the valour track suited bad ass that my DayQuill alter ego would like you to believe. <br />
<br />
Here is the type of revenge that I would think of...(I have been playing around with this one for a while, so some of you might had heard this one already...)<br />
<br />
CRAZY CLOWN REVENGE!<br />
<br />
List of items that you will need:<br />
<br />
4-6 Cars To Go<br />
10-12 friends (depending on how many Cars To Go you get)<br />
Clown costumes<br />
Old doll heads (popping tags at the Goodwill? Pick up a few dolls)<br />
<br />
<br />
Originally I was thinking Halloween, but this plan could work anytime.<br />
<br />
Plan prep:<br />
<u>Set up the Car To Go rental</u> - I actually ran this plan by some Car To Go people, they have assured me that you can, maybe, put 4-5 people in one, but they could not account for the large clown shoes. <br />
<u>Collect the Doll heads</u>- I am guessing that you will have to remove the heads from the bodies. Or maybe you can just buy the heads? I really am not sure on this one, and buying doll heads just seems creepy, so I am going with the full doll action plan.<br />
<u>Dress you and your fellow revenge clowns -</u> We are talking full clown gear. Face painted white, the red nose and the colorful afro clown wig. ALL OF IT!<br />
<br />
The plan:<br />
Place the proper amount of clowns into each car. Make sure that each clown has a sack full of doll heads. Drive in a line to the house of the person that you are wanting to feel the wrath of your clown revenge.<br />
*This driving all together part in important. On the way to your destination, play up the full clown thing. Wave to those driving by. Make someone laugh as you are stopped for a red light. Just because the night is built on acts of revenge does not mean that you can't spread joy as well!<br />
Pull up in front of the house of the one who done you wrong. Single file. 4-6 Cars To Go parked on the street in front of the house.<br />
Have all the crazy gang of clowns calmly get out of the cars and walk over to the front lawn of the house and dump the doll heads all over the place.<br />
Calmly get back in the little tiny cars and drive away<br />
<br />
I think that this plan would work best if the person was home. Yes, you run the risk of getting caught, but you are in your clown gear, so it would be really hard to identify you! And do you honestly think the person would call the cops?<br />
911: What's you emergency?<br />
Douche bag: Um, 6 clowns just showed up on my lawn and left what appears to be doll heads.<br />
911: Sir, have you been drinking?<br />
<br />
As you drive off to spend the night enjoying a nice Shirley temple with your jolly band of clowns, the DB is left to wonder --what the hell just happened?!? And even my personal fave-- what one of the many people that I have screwed over took the time to do this? <br />
<br />
Ok, so this may not fall under the true category of revenge. Maybe more of a prank? All I know is, unless I can figure out a way to be a valour track suit wearing ninja, the TV show types of revenge are never going to work out for me and necessity being the mother of invention and all... <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
GraceFallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16353766213324906708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060488223687571230.post-15894365340089561552013-01-15T15:49:00.000-08:002013-01-15T15:49:07.845-08:00You might want to avoid me if it's raining...Look at me..posting twice in one day! (I actually thought I had posted this one last week, but guess I forgot to hit publish, so I promise this double posting is not the norm)<br />
<br />
Since I just started playing around with my blog again, I thought it would be a hoot to go back and look over some old posts. I found a post from just over a year ago that listed the awesome kick ass stuff I was going to do in 2012.<br />
<br />
Um. No. (insert Grumpy Cat face) <br />
<br />
Before I re-post the ghost of blogging past, let me go over a few things that DID happen in 2012...and lets hope they do not repeat in 2013 or, as I have said many times before, I'm gonna shank a bitch.<br />
<br />
1- Unexpected, unwanted and uncool change in residencies from a house to a town house.<br />
Moving Sucks<br />
<br />
2- Car accident (not my fault, and no one was hurt) that lead to my car being totalled.<br />
Car Shopping Sucks<br />
<br />
3- Unplanned surgery (I am ok) that left me in a dazed out state of recovery for longer then I thought it would and feeling a bit like the dude from the Shinning, but without snow. <br />
Surgery Sucks<br />
<br />
4- Had my heart broken by someone that I have been crazy about for a very long time.<br />
He Sucks<br />
<br />
There you have it...the NOT TO DO LIST OF 2013!!!<br />
<br />
Ok, so lets tackle the list of wonderfulness that was going to be 2012<br />
<br />
December 30, 2011<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
It’s the end of 2011 and the
time when everyone starts making resolutions for the new year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I just can’t do this.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Look, I know that I need to
drop 20 pounds, but there is just no way that I am going to get this done in the
month of January.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For one, I am lazy and
two, I have no willpower.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So this
resolution is just filled with too much pressure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>NO.THANK.YOU.</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
That being said…there is a few
things that I would like to add to my 2012 TO DO LIST (yes, I am going to add
that list here…duh)</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<u>Go to Disneyland</u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I am 35 and have never been.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think it is time.</div>
**<span style="background-color: white; color: #351c75;">Nope. I did not make it to Disneyland. I did take a road trip down to the Redwood Forest and had a great time. So for this one, we will say I half way did it....at least I was in the same state as Disneyland. That counts for something!</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<u>Learn to golf</u></div>
This one might be
dangerous as I have no skill, aim or any depth perception.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe I should re think this one to
just…drive the golf cart?<br />
<span style="color: #351c75;">**Nope. And now that I think about this one...it's for the best. I really do not need to be around other people hitting a ball in all sorts of random directions while hold what very well could end up being a weapon. I am good with leaving this one as is.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<u>Sky dive</u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I hate heights, this seems a good
way to get over that.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #351c75;">**Nope. But this one is being re added to the 2013 list and I am going to do this for my birthday this year (hint - it's in July if you want to come with me).</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<u>Play some sort of team
sport</u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
This might shock you since I seem so sporty and all, but I have never played any sort of team sport.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #351c75;">**YES! This one I actually did! I started playing soccer this last year. I suck. I am sure they want me to never actually show up to any of the games, but I am officially on a team. I even have my first jersey with my favorite number on the back and everything (8...in case you were wondering).</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<u>Perform as Grace at least one
last time</u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I have spent a lot of money on
rhinestones to not do it one last time</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #351c75;">**YES! In Feb 2012, I got the chance to perform as Grace one last time. I showed up with not one, but two new acts. An act all about a cheating Mickey Mouse and a second act all about my one true love, Jameson. Ahhh....what a great night that was!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #351c75;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<u>Experience an amazing kiss in
the rain</u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Yeah, random, but it’s my list, so I
get to add whatever<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #351c75;">**Nope. And this one was probably the easiest to accomplish and the one that I wanted the most. But since I spent most of 2012 being crazy about a man who was not romantic or spontaneous and for the most part hated kissing in general (PSA for the ladies-never date a man who does not like to kiss. It's ok if he is a bad kisser, you can fix that. You can't fix a non kisser. Nothing is better then a great kiss!)....there was no way I was getting that amazing kiss in the rain. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #351c75;">So, in true hopeless romantic fashion, I am keeping this one on the list for 2013 and I am going to keep it on the list every year until it happens. And if it does happen? I am keeping it on the list anyway. Everyone should have at least one amazing kiss in the rain at least once a year. More if you are lucky, but I don't want anyone reading this to think I am greedy!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Ok 2013, I have my rain boots and chapstick ready. You had better bring it! :) </div>
GraceFallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16353766213324906708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060488223687571230.post-86461203145836272312013-01-15T09:07:00.001-08:002013-01-15T09:07:24.842-08:00Cowboy Boots, Thrift Shop, Cooper and PBR<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/wpjad9q5PhI" width="480"></iframe><br />
<br />
<br />
The Heist is Cooper's new favorite CD. NO JOKE. It started off with him loving Thrift Shop so much that he went on YouTube and looked up his other videos. He also loves And We Danced, and let me tell you how funny it is to hear him sing it (complete with 1980's British accent).<br />
<br />
I had a random Sat that was just Cooper and I, and it involved a lot of driving, so I grabbed this CD (Yeah, I am old school like that...and I have no idea how to make my phone play in my new car) and we headed out on an adventure....and played this ALL DAY LONG. (I am not gonna lie, we had fun!)<br />
Ok, so this might not be the best music to play for an 8 year old boy. That fact is not lost on me. I know there are some bad words and some topics that he might not get, but I have always told him that if there is something that he does not understand, to ask and the bad words are fine in a song....just don't go singing it at school or while at church with Grandma!<br />
His top songs from the CD are as follows - <br />
Thrift Shop<br />
White Walls<br />
Same Love<br />
*he also likes a few that he found on YouTube, but are not on The Heist, so he has requested that I get those on a "mix" for him ASAP. How can a mom say no to that?<br />
<br />
So, this was Sat...ALL DAY in the car with this CD. (Yes, there was a lot of car dancing. Duh!)<br />
<br />
Skip ahead to Sunday. I was in the living room doing something with Kel and Coop was in the kitchen. He starts singing this song, but just the part, "Time goes slow when you're drinking PBR!" Maybe it was the fact that he was really feeling it or he followed up his singing by saying to me, "Man, I need to drink some PBR. That way the weekend would go slower"...I lost it! I was laughing so hard, that I had tears rolling down my cheeks. Once I was able to talk again, I told him that PBR was beer and that he might not want to say to to anyone else.<br />
<br />
So once again, I am here thinking about my parenting choices and thinking that some of them might not be totally conventional, but as long as my kids are good, smart, respectful and funny....I don't think that I am going to worry about it too much. But I do promise to keep the PBR away from Cooper! <br />
<br />
**I have also done my time with the Wiggles, Raffi, Laurie Burkner and every other type of kid music. I have not always been a bad mom! <br />
<br />
GraceFallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16353766213324906708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060488223687571230.post-13042167811897282732013-01-08T14:45:00.000-08:002013-01-08T14:45:29.582-08:00FlaskworthyI have been thinking about a list of activities that I have come to call, Flaskworthy.<br />
Ya know, like Elaine and her men that she deemed 'Spongeworthy', but my list does not include men, although there are some men that I can only be around if I am drinking, but I am trying to keep this blog (ok, this post) nice.<br />
<br />
Flaskworthy activities - <br />
<br />
Bathing Suit Shopping: Ok, this one should be done with a w hole bottle of whatever makes you happy, but since we don't want anyone to think we have a 'problem', a flask is a better option. During this dreaded activity, when one is feeling fat or or if they look like hell, take a swig of that there flask. You try on enough suits, and take enough sips, that you are bound to find the perfect suit....or that nice buzz you have will at least make you not care that you have a bit of junk in the trunk. <br />
<br />
OB/GYN Appointments: Well, maybe not if you are going in for the OB part of OB/GYN, but for the GYN part...HELL YA! Look, if I have to sit on the edge of that table while wearing a half shirt of paper towels in a cold room, waiting on the MD, I might as well take a small sip from my magical flask. If nothing else it will keep the chill away while I wait and might take some of the sting away when the MD asks me if I am seeing anyone new, followed by the sad look she gives me when I say no.<br />
<br />
Costco - Day Before ANY Holiday: I would like to work out a deal with Costco on this one. Maybe a flask with their logo on it? Hey, I'm not proud! If I am stuck walking around a store that is so packed it feels like a bus in Calcutta, I'll walk around with a Costco flask. <br />
<br />
DMV: Take a number and take a sip. I think you could make a drinking game with this one based on how long you are stuck in the purgatory that is DMV. For instance, every time you see someone skip the line and walk to the front and get shot down and told to take a number. Here's to you douche bag! Take a sip. <br />
<br />
Children's Parties: If it involves a bounce house, giant rodent or bad pizza; pack the flask!<br />
<br />
<br />
Unlike the list of men that are Spongeworthy, the list of activities that are Flaskworthy are almost endless! <br />
<br />
So grab a pretty flask, a designated driver and have fun! <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
GraceFallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16353766213324906708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060488223687571230.post-52001036568134430382013-01-07T08:52:00.001-08:002013-01-07T08:52:37.824-08:00First post of 2013!Hello, 2013! I just know that we are going to be best friends, unless you are like your sister, 2012. In that case, play nice, because I am ready to shank a bitch. Just saying.<br />
<br />
<br />
Since this is my first post of 2013 (and my first post since July) I guess I should write about all the things that I am going to change in the new year, but chances are pretty good that NONE of what I write will happen (I'm lazy. I know this) so I am just not even going to waste my time with that.<br />
<br />
Ok...small lie. At some point I might blog about getting into shape and I might post photos to track progress, or to give anyone who reads this something to laugh at. I am not sure about that one yet as it would mean that I have to actually commit to working out (see statement above about being lazy).<br />
<br />
So what has brought be out of my blogging hibernation?<br />
<br />
Pinterest.<br />
<br />
Last year I watched the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show while sitting on my couch in sweats eating ice cream. I felt so beyond inadequate that it was enough to make me hate almost every tying about myself (yet not enough that I put down the ice cream. I needed comfort!). I felt short, fat, clumsy and old.<br />
This is a bit how Pinterest makes me feel, but without physical self loathing. Pretty much it just makes me feel as if I suck at everything else in my life. Gee, THANKS!<br />
<br />
It seems harmless enough. You sit down, open up the page and start looking at all the wonderful things that other people create or the beautiful homes that they live in. It shows photo's of amazing parties and food. Everything you could possibly think about is on this site.<br />
<br />
Who the fuck are these people?<br />
Who has the time?<br />
Where are all these amazing houses?<br />
Why is that food not being made in my kitchen?<br />
What the hell is mod podge?<br />
<br />
UGH...so many questions!!!!<br />
<br />
I am going to ponder these questions while looking at random strangers boards on weddings :) GraceFallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16353766213324906708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060488223687571230.post-36133303140106869522012-07-16T15:55:00.002-07:002012-07-16T15:57:15.018-07:00Holiday Roooaaaddd....<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
A road trip is equal parts magic and horror.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Lets talk about the horror part first….cuz that’s just more
fun!<o:p> </o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
There are any number of things that can go wrong on a road trip.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Have you seen any of the National Lampoons
Vacation Movies?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At what other point in one’s
life do you run the risk of having to drive down the road with a dead granny
strapped to the roof of your car?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pretty
much just on a road trip…or unless that is just how your family transports the
dead…I don’t judge.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
The car could break down.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Someone could get sick.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Bad weather.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Crappy destinations.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Crappier company.</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Lets face it….being stuck in a small moving box with someone
can be torture.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like you envision what it
would be like to just open the door and take your chances with rolling out of a
moving car just to get away from the other person sort of torture. </div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
I am sure that many marriages and friendships have ended
after a bad road trip.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Now for the magic part….</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
If you are lucky enough to not toss yourself out a moving vehicle
AND not kill your travel partner with a spork….it can be a pretty awesome way
to see new things and explore areas that you might not ever get a chance to
see.<o:p> </o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
On a recent trip I got to see The Redwood Forest,
breathtaking views of the CA coast, see a giant Paul Bunyan, stay in a hotel
that I am pretty sure was used to house a meth lab and buy cheesy crap.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Pretty fantastic.<o:p> </o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
AND….as far as I can tell….my travel partner did not once
try and toss himself from the car…EVEN BETTER!</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
I think I have a soft spot in my heart for Paul, Babe the
Blue Ox…..and my travel partner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Much
love to all three of you. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-h9F-bZ6dXrQ/UASb1yOWUTI/AAAAAAAABQs/WyY7lnrHQIc/s1600/babe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-h9F-bZ6dXrQ/UASb1yOWUTI/AAAAAAAABQs/WyY7lnrHQIc/s1600/babe.jpg" /></a></div>GraceFallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16353766213324906708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060488223687571230.post-50020449224486063212012-06-12T07:21:00.002-07:002012-06-12T07:21:41.084-07:00Need an idea....I have not been blogging much these days. I am guessing that is due to the fact that I have nothing AT ALL going on in my life that is worth writing about. I started off doing this so I could write about being Grace and that adventure, but since I am no longer doing that, blogging about it just seemed wrong. I could write about my upcoming move, but then I would have to follow that up with being drunk and a drunk written blog is just all that much fun. But totally a good idea for a web thing (Jenna Marble style, but without the rat dogs at the end...oh and remind me to come back to her at some other time). <br />
<br />
So while cleaning the shower last night after a healthy dose of NyQuil (the shower was dirty and I have a freaking head cold....so don't judge me!) I was trying to think of new topics to write about. The usual list came to me; burgers, kids, dating...blah blah blah....<br />
<br />
THEN IT HIT ME!<br />
<br />
I would start writing about and posting photos of random creeper vans that I see around town! SURE TO BE THE BEST BLOG OF ALL TIME! Because we all know how I feel about the creeper van and how it is top on my list of things that should not still be around in 2012 (see some past blog post about this topic that I am too lazy to go and hunt down at the moment, but I am sure will change your life if you read it...ok....maybe not, but read it anyway). <br />
<br />
As I was standing in my shower waiting for the scrubbing bubbles to magically clean my grout... I started to have second thoughts about this topic.<br />
<br />
Do I really want to be that close to a creeper van?<br />
Photos might be an issue as I am either alone or with the kids.<br />
Creeper vans seemed to have a close relationship with clowns. I am not ready to go down the clown road.<br />
<br />
CRAP. This idea might have to go on the 'maybe' list for blogs.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Hmmm.....oh well. I will give this some more thought and come up with something. Something that will involve me touring around the city in search of random weird things... ( I am guessing that I will come up with this brilliant idea while drinking...just saying) <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />GraceFallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16353766213324906708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060488223687571230.post-67277223570283754842012-05-03T08:05:00.000-07:002012-05-03T08:05:24.171-07:00Grumpy Dwarf<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
It’s early.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s
raining.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I never went to sleep.</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
I am grumpy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So in
honor of this foul mood I am sporting…a blog post about things that annoy the hell
out of me *<span style="font-size: 9pt;">Cuz it’s my blog and I can do that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
When people say “Totes” instead of the full word,
totally.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>WTF? What f’ing Gossip Girl character
started this?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Are we now so lazy as a society
that we can’t be bothered with the whole word?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Are we now just going to shorten everything to one syllable?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yup, we totes are….<o:p> </o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
People in line at Starbucks who ask questions about
everything on the menu. Um….dude, it’s Starbucks…we go here because, no matter
what, no matter where you are in the world…PRETTY MUCH THE SAME THING IS ON THE
MENU.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s still dark out, there is a
line forming behind you and none of us have had our coffee yet!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In my head, all I can here is “Move bitch.
Get out the way” In my best Luda voice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>GRRRRR<o:p> </o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
People who do not say thank you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>YOU JUST SUCK.<o:p> </o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Most of the people that are currently left on American
Idol.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not sure why….but I just want most
them to just go away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, you can
sing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But listening to you talk or
watching you perform makes me want to claw my own eyes out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<o:p> </o:p><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Ok….I think that is all for now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I feel better for getting that out of my
system.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can now go on about my day….I
am even going to smile.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I totes am. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EsiA_f1vv1E/T6KejonQAgI/AAAAAAAABA0/tkmOETx70U0/s1600/grumpy-dwarf-zoom-grg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EsiA_f1vv1E/T6KejonQAgI/AAAAAAAABA0/tkmOETx70U0/s320/grumpy-dwarf-zoom-grg.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>GraceFallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16353766213324906708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060488223687571230.post-36735447259648157762012-05-01T19:11:00.000-07:002012-05-01T19:11:04.566-07:00Can you draw a Tuuuuuuuurrrrdddle?The boys had a day off from school a few weeks back, so after breakfast we hit up one of our favorite stores, Lippman's Party Co. It is pretty much the most wonderful store in all the land. ALL.THE.LAND!<br />
<br />
We spent about two hours dressing up in costumes. Trying on wigs. And just being dorks (it's our family trait). While we were doing all this, we started to come up with a comic book idea. The subject matter of this comic book is...um....kinda questionable. And once again I am worried about my parenting skills. Not only did I encourage the creation of this comic, I probably added to it WAY more then either of the boys.<br />
<br />
The Adventures of Butt Man!!!<br />
<br />
Pretty much he is a super hero....with some gastro intestinal issues (he can't help it...and everybody poops!). He has a trusty side kick, The Paralyzing Plunger. Due to Butt Man's tummy issues, this is a good side kick!<br />
<br />
(here is the part that I added, and I am sure makes me a horrible mom)<br />
<br />
They have pets!<br />
A Shiiiiiiiiiiitttttttzu <br />
A Tuuuuuurrrrdddddle<br />
<br />
Of course every good super hero team has to battle some bad guys...<br />
<br />
The Terrorizing Toilet (who lives in the Forrest of Farts)<br />
The TP Bandit<br />
<br />
<br />
It's a work in process...<br />
<br />
*I am sure I should go make them read the Bible now or something to offset my my lack of good parenting.<br />
<br />
<br />GraceFallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16353766213324906708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060488223687571230.post-67617925204822955012012-02-15T10:43:00.000-08:002012-02-15T10:43:55.817-08:00Grace was here this weekend. I hope you did not miss her!A funny thing happens when you look out into a crowd of
people and say, “Fuck it…I am going to have fun!”<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
That is what happened to me on Sunday.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
In the weeks leading up to the show last weekend, I was
scared to death.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not only had I not been
on a stage since June, but I was debuting two new acts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So the potential for EPIC FAIL was high.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Add to that the fact that I have been pretty
depressed, so I have been eating poorly and being lazy…so my body was not
really in prime sexy shape.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And as
always, that little issue of stage fright….so yeah, I was a wreck anytime I
would think about the upcoming show.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Pasties were rhinestoned.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Jameson bottles were spray glittered.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Acts had been practiced around my house.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
The fight with the false eyelashes had been won (somewhat).<o:p> </o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
It was time!<o:p> </o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
I got to the venue early (as I do) and was killing some
time at the bar waiting on my Redbull when I noticed people coming in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People that I knew.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Non burly people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People who were there….to see me!<o:p> </o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
Now, I am not sure how other people who are performers deal with
the audience or if they want people they know there or not, but for me…I LOVE
IT!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I am going to do something, even
if it is something that could require me making a fool of myself, I always do a
better job at it if ‘my people’ are there to see me do it….and to potentially tease
me for it when I am done.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So…I said hello
to the people that had showed up early and went down to the basement to finish
getting ready.</div>
SHOW TIME!<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
As I was standing in the back of the venue, watching the
first performer, I started to look around the room.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The place was packed…and more of my friends
had made it down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Looking at everyone,
in that moment, my nerves were gone. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
Because my friends were there.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
These people had left the comfort of their warm house on a
Sunday evening, braved the rain, traveled downtown, paid the cover at the door,
got a drink….and settled in to see a show…all because I had asked them to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In support of me, and knowing how important
this night was for me….they were there.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
I also knew that half of these people have seen me make a
fool out of myself a million times before, so doing it on stage was not going
to be an issue!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
My first act was not perfect…I know this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know that I need to hit some marks a bit
better and use the stage more, but for the most part, I think that it was
pretty good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do wish I would have
thought ahead to plant a camera in the audience with a friend so that it could
have been taped, so that I could really see what I looked like, but oh well!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had fun with it…and I like how that felt.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
I don’t know if it was the vibe of the night or the fact that
I was wearing flannel jammies during the intermission of the show, but something
else hit me….if I am going to do this burlesque thing ever again…I am going to
stay true to myself and be goofy and funny and not try to be the classic sexy
type of performer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is just not me
and I think that I was thinking that I needed to play up this sexy side on stage…and
that was stressing me out!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
So when my turn to get up on stage came around again, this
time, there was no fear, nerves or stage fright.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Again, was it perfect…no.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Far from it!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I still have many more stages to get on and strut around before I will
be any good at this….but the act was fun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I had fun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The audience had
fun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And when I left the stage, with
pretty much nothing more than pasties and my Jameson bottle, I was not
shaking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did not feel like I wanted to
barf.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had a smile on my face and for
the first time in a long time…..I was proud of myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Truly and honestly proud of something that I
had created.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is a great feeling.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
Thank you to everyone that came out Sunday night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just by you being there, you gave me the
courage and the strength to get up on that stage and have fun and I owe you
more then I could ever put into words on this blog.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
And to the other performers who I had the honor to be on
stage with, you continue to inspire me and welcome me. You are truly turning
into my burly family.</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
Oh…and Zora.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was
your voice in my head telling me I could do it as I sat gluing rhinestones night
after night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And your hugs I felt when I
got frustrated working out the routine and tripping over my own two clumsy
feet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You continue to push me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You constantly encourage me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And above all else, have faith in me when I
have none in myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How do I ever thank
you for that???<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh….and sorry for the
heckler!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><v:shapetype coordsize="21600,21600" filled="f" id="_x0000_t75" o:preferrelative="t" o:spt="75" path="m@4@5l@4@11@9@11@9@5xe" stroked="f">
<v:stroke joinstyle="miter">
<v:formulas>
<v:f eqn="if lineDrawn pixelLineWidth 0">
<v:f eqn="sum @0 1 0">
<v:f eqn="sum 0 0 @1">
<v:f eqn="prod @2 1 2">
<v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelWidth">
<v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelHeight">
<v:f eqn="sum @0 0 1">
<v:f eqn="prod @6 1 2">
<v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelWidth">
<v:f eqn="sum @8 21600 0">
<v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelHeight">
<v:f eqn="sum @10 21600 0">
</v:f></v:f></v:f></v:f></v:f></v:f></v:f></v:f></v:f></v:f></v:f></v:f></v:formulas>
<v:path gradientshapeok="t" o:connecttype="rect" o:extrusionok="f">
<o:lock aspectratio="t" v:ext="edit">
</o:lock></v:path></v:stroke></v:shapetype><v:shape alt="" id="_x0000_i1025" style="height: 480pt; width: 5in;" type="#_x0000_t75">
<v:imagedata o:href="cid:589" src="file:///C:\Users\TJN\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image001.jpg">
</v:imagedata></v:shape></span></div>GraceFallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16353766213324906708noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060488223687571230.post-37031816407869828932012-02-07T08:52:00.000-08:002012-02-07T08:52:40.107-08:00Smokey and the Snot Bandit.Let me just start by saying that I am not the type of female
that flirts to get what she wants.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
wish that I had this skill and I am in awe of my female friends that can do
this and can do it well. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Props to you
ladies!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I try and bat my eyelashes and
look cute and it ends up looking like I have lost a contact or a neurological defect.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mmmhmmm…..hot~<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
So since I am not what you would call a flirter by nature,
as you can guess, I am not the type to try and flirt my way out of a
ticket.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On the few occasions that I have
been pulled over, I am sure that I am going to jail for life….even for a
speeding ticket.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t help it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My mind just jumps about 100 steps ahead and
I always assume the worst.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do most
people go to jail for going 65 on the freeway?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I am guessing no, but with my luck, you never know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That being said, as you can guess, I am not smooth
flirty girl in time of traffic cop interaction.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>In most cases I am scared to death, face bright red, can’t find my
insurance because I am shaking girl.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh…lets
add the batting of the eyelashes now/possible having a seizer look…think it
will work?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
Now that you have that mental image going, let me paint the picture
of what happened this morning on my way to work….</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
I am going to start by saying…it was not my best morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I got no sleep at all for the second night in
a row, so I started off the day on the wrong foot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have been super stressed about a bunch of
crap going on in my life, feeling lonely, fence blew over last night and just a
bunch of basic pity party issues that left me feeling like crap this morning.
Add to that some stupid song that came on the radio and…I lost my shit.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
Tears. Lots of tears.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And not happy little you just saw a new baby being born and life is
sweet tears…OH NO…TEARS.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Face blotchy,
nose that could lead Santa’s sleigh, eyes swollen, snot dripping down your nose
kind of tears.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The only way to describe
me this morning?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>HOT MESS….and those
words would be kind!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
With that pretty mental image of lil old me in your head,
now picture what <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would look like with
all that AND getting pulled over running a red light (not on purpose….but as I
have covered….not my best morning!).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Lets face it….there were meth heads on the corner that looked better than
I did at that moment. UGH. Hey officer, how you doing? Sniff. Wipes snot off on
coat…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
The good part of this story is that the officer was nice
enough to not give me a ticket (who says Portland cops only shoot people?) <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>but I am pretty sure that was only due to the
fact that I looked like a pathetic mess.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And the site of my snot was probable grossing him out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He did make me promise that for the rest of
my commute that I would not cry. YES SIR! Sniffle. More snot.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
I managed to make it into work this morning without anything
else happening….and for keeping my snot output to a minimum.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>GraceFallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16353766213324906708noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060488223687571230.post-70710512893858419402012-01-31T10:39:00.000-08:002012-01-31T10:39:09.391-08:00No need to call 911...I am just dancing!<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
In a sleep deprived impulsive moment, I signed up to take my
first ever dance class.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And since I have
a way of never easing into something, I picked a hip hop dance class.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am guessing that I should have started with
something a bit….slower, but too late to change that now.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
I am not what one would call a dancer (as I have stated in many
blog posts) and I am a bit….challenged when it comes to steps and moving
multiple body parts and trying to remember those steps in any order that would
resemble a routine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My brain just does
not work that way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My body violently
rejects new movement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hell, you have
seen the photos….walking is hard enough for me!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
But it has been a long time since I have tried something new
and even longer since I have worked out and been active, so this seemed like a
good idea….at the time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, hmmm….not
so much.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
In my head I am channeling my inner <span class="st1"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Jabbawockeez or J Lo, from her Fly Girl
days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But in my heart I know that I will
end up looking like Elaine from Seinfeld have a seizure as this is my go to
dance mode.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span class="st1"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Maybe
if I wear the mask, no one will know it is me?</span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Hck-ekI6ecs/Tyg1KF41HnI/AAAAAAAAAmM/lyA1VtlCU7k/s1600/jab.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Hck-ekI6ecs/Tyg1KF41HnI/AAAAAAAAAmM/lyA1VtlCU7k/s320/jab.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<br /></div>GraceFallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16353766213324906708noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060488223687571230.post-23770418807547670282012-01-09T08:20:00.000-08:002012-01-09T08:20:43.483-08:00It's 1:30am...do you know where your friends with benefits is?I do....she is at home, pissed off at you...<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
This blog posting is from an actual phone call that I was a
part of last night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I told my friend
that I was “so putting this in my blog” and he laughed and said he was ok with
it…as long as I kept his name out of it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Well, duh!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
All names have been left out to protect the stupid.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
Me – It is 1:30 in the morning, if you are calling me,
someone had better be dead.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s 4:30
your time..OH GOD…IS SOMEONE DEAD?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
Stupid – Shut up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
know you are up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You never sleep.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think I messed things up with a friend of
mine and I need your opinion.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
Me – Who did you sleep with and why can’t you call me about
this at a normal time?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
Stupid – How did you know I slept with someone?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But yeah, I think I messed up because now she
wont talk to me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
Me – Ok. Hit me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What
did you do? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
Stupid -<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, it’s
that friend of mine A___, I have told you about her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have been friends for years and sometimes
hook up. That was a couple of weeks ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I got busy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ended up going out of
town and have not spoken to her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
called her this weekend and she was short with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think she is mad.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
Me -<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>UGH.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You woke me up for this?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>OK…so, you hooked up with her and then did
not talk to her for a couple of weeks?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do
I have the facts straight here?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
Stupid – Yes</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
Me – I love you, but you are a dumb ass.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She’s pissed because you slept with her and
did not talk to her for weeks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How did
you graduate college? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
Stupid – No. It’s not like that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have been hooking up on and off for years.
She’s totally cool.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
Me – She’s a female, correct?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And you are not filming the sequel to any
Justin Timberlake film, correct?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
Stupid – Huh?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
Me – Oh yeah…all females just love it when you sleep with
them and then go MIA for weeks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>THEY LOVE
THAT.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Seriously….how stupid are you?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
Stupid – So, I should have at least sent a txt, huh?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
Me – Gee….ya think?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
I have said this before….while I do not think that friends
with benefits ever really works out that well, it will not work out at all if
you leave the <strong>friend</strong> part out of it after you hook up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I do not care who you are…no one likes to
feel used.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So take a second and send a quick
text<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>saying hi…anything!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And for the love of god, do not call me at
1:30 in the morning with your undies in a wad because you think you messed up….this
girl needs her sleep! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
**Stupid...you know who you are....and I still love you! </div>GraceFallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16353766213324906708noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060488223687571230.post-82636026100524136972012-01-06T09:24:00.000-08:002012-01-06T09:24:32.723-08:00That pirate made me cry!<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
There is always this weird parent/child moment when the child
figures out that you, as the parent, might just know what you are talking
about.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
I will admit, that since I have boys, we don’t have a lot of
those moments.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am sure that they have
them with their dad as he coaches all of their sports teams and can bond with
them over dude stuff.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stuff like peeing standing
up and how to whittle with a swiss army knife.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Things that would just make me messy…and most likely end up in the ER
with the tip if my finger missing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
A month or so back, Kellen wanted to try out for the elementary
school acting program. OH HOT DAMN…A NON SPORTING ACTIVITY!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was all over that one!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This was something that I could do!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
Truth?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have only
ever acted once, in high school and it was maybe three lines and I have no memory
of if I was any good or not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, all
stage fright aside, I have a bit of a flare for drama and at the very least
could teach Kellen to not look at his feet while on stage, annunciate his words
so that the audience could hear him…and I might be able to help out with the costumes
(Yes, I swear to not cover him in glitter or rhinestone his pirate eye patch).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
So after Kellen got into the program, he told me it was
going to be a musical.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A PIRATE MUSICAL!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Um, yeah…I had to take a moment to calm my excitement!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
Here are some things you should know about me…</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I wanted
to be an elementary school music teacher. I love watching little kids sing.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I grew
up singing…non stop.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was pretty much
the only thing I liked to do all through </div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
school.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I always
had a secret dream of being on Broadway.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I HEART MUSICALS!</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We sing…ALL
THE TIME at my house.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I can figure
out a way to make some random </div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
activity <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> m</span>usical, I will.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>From singing the Dr. Seuss books to making up
random songs while </div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
we clean the house. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">
At one time, I could sing…a
little.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A few bouts of laryngitis and a
great fear of ANYONE </div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">
other then my kids hearing me sing has
changed that.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">
If you have heard me karaoke,
you know this…and again, I am sorry for making you suffer </div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">
through that.</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<o:p> </o:p>Anyway, I know a little about singing and while I have
not done it in anyway that would be considered good in over a decade, I still
remember the scales that breathing techniques.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And since Kellen was worried about being able to hold a rather long note
in one of the songs, I started working with him on how to breath.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the time, he just tolerated me. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Last night he came home and could not wait to tell me what
they had done that afternoon in his drama class. </div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">
“MOM!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We worked on breathing….just like you showed
me and I already knew how to do it</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">
and I could sing the notes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was just like what we worked on at
home!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How did you know </div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">
what to do?”</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">
“I told you that I had been in
choir when I was younger.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You have to learn
what notes to sing </div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">
and how to hold them.”</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">
“Well, I know you told me that,
but I thought it was just more of your…mom stuff.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did not </div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">
know that the teacher would
teach us the same thing!” <o:p> </o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
I doubt that he will start to listen to me daily or believe
everything I tell him to do (still working on a good story to make him be nice
to his brother) but that one little moment last night was a nice start.</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
He even agreed to sing me the first song from the musical
and yes, when he was done I had to sneak away to the bathroom as to not let him
see me cry…cuz it was just about the sweetest little song that I had ever heard…about
a pirate. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>GraceFallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16353766213324906708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060488223687571230.post-81788461896487471212011-12-30T21:10:00.000-08:002011-12-30T21:10:32.674-08:00I ready for a kiss in the rain...or golf.<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
It’s the end of 2011 and the time when everyone starts making resolutions for the new year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I just can’t do this.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Look, I know that I need to drop 20 pounds, but there is just no way that I am going to get this done in the month of January.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For one, I am lazy and two, I have no willpower.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So this resolution is just filled with too much pressure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>NO.THANK.YOU.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
That being said…there is a few things that I would like to add to my 2012 TO DO LIST (yes, I am going to add that list here…duh)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Go to Disneyland</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I am 35 and have never been.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think it is time.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Learn to golf</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in;">
This one might be dangerous as I have no skill, aim or any depth perception.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe I should re think this one to just…drive the golf cart?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Sky dive</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I hate heights, this seems a good way to get over that.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Play some sort of team sport</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in;">
This might shock you since I seem so sporty and all, but I have never played any sort of team sport.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Perform as Grace at least one last time</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I have spent a lot of money on rhinestones to not do it one last time</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Experience an amazing kiss in the rain</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Yeah, random, but it’s my list, so I get to add whatever<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
OK….and maybe drop 10 pounds….after all, it is the new year and I think by law, I have to add that.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
I doubt that I will get a chance to cross anything off this list, but…one can dream.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Here is to a wonderful 2012!</span>GraceFallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16353766213324906708noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060488223687571230.post-61677481192285837472011-12-28T07:55:00.000-08:002011-12-28T07:55:38.080-08:00Bad dancing=fun mom. Who knew?<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
I often worry that I am a horrible mother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not like a crack head kind of mom, but not
your conventional sort of mom.</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
On the weekends, I let my kids stay up too late.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
I will not force them to eat vegetables that I would not
eat (chances are high that I don’t even know how to cook them anyway).</div>
I believe that if you are not leaving the house, jammies
are fine to wear all day.<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Popcorn can be a dinner item.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
We have a family dance that I make my kids do in the car
(all upper body, so completely appropriate for car dancing).<o:p> </o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Little quirky things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Not enough that child protective services will come knock on my door,
but enough that the boys might need counseling one day.<o:p> </o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Last night after watching Tron and having a rave like
dance party with the boys (dance party is a common theme in my house) Coop looked
at me and said, “You are a lot of fun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Not like some of my friend’s moms!”<o:p> </o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
AWWWWW!!!!!!<o:p> </o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Now, I am sure that this thought will change and what he
thinks of now as fun will only be thought of as embracement and the term, “why
are you trying to ruin my life?” will be said, but for now I will take that
statement from last night as maybe I am not the worst mom in the world after
all. <o:p> </o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Ya know, until next week when I send one of them to
school with an empty lunch box that I grabbed off the counter while the full
lunch box sits in the fridge….</div>GraceFallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16353766213324906708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060488223687571230.post-40960440781088244702011-12-07T00:33:00.001-08:002011-12-07T00:43:49.833-08:00Random mom laughsLet me just start off by saying that my dog is pretty great and hardly ever goes potty in the house...but he is a dog and they can have accidents from time to time. <br />
<br />
So tonight was a pretty normal night dinner, homework, hangout, showers, read and then off to bed. We were on the shower and reading portion when I walked into Cooper's room to see him standing on one foot with an odd look on his face.....in the middle of a very large puddle (we have hardwood floors, if that helps with the visual).<br />
Me - "Coop, what's going on?"<br />
Coop - "MOM! I don't know. I dried off after the shower, but I don't know how I got the floor this wet! I don't know!"<br />
Me - "That's not from the shower. You are standing in the middle of dog pee"<br />
Coop - "WHAT?!? I'M STANDING IN PEE? OH GOD! YUCK!"<br />
Me - "Yeah, you are gonna want to take a second shower"<br />
<br />
Times like that make me wish that I was a reality show and had cameras ruining 24/7..if only to capture the look on his face and to see him standing there like a flamingo.<br />
<br />
After I stopped laughing (yes, I am THAT kind of mom that laughs at/with her kids) I got Coop and his room all cleaned up and off to bed.<br />
<br />
Just a normal night....and I loved every second of it!GraceFallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16353766213324906708noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2060488223687571230.post-3362471226690499132011-11-29T09:51:00.001-08:002011-11-29T09:53:04.691-08:00Oh Christmas Tree....<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
It’s Christmas tree time again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you know me, you know that historically this
has not gone well.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
The Jager Year</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
This was my first Christmas after the divorce and the first
time that I tried to put a tree up solo.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This did not end well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First off,
my tree stand went missing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I rushed
out to grab a new one (blaming the ex the whole time), I had a feeling that
this was the start to a bad afternoon.</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
Got home and spent HOURS trying to get the stupid thing in
the stand and straight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No luck.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Over and over again I moved that damn tree in
that damn stand and in the end, it was as straight as RuPaul.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was at that point that I broke down in
tears and started drinking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Soon, the
tears dried, the Jameson kicked in and I came up with an idea….It was clear
that I was not going to win when it came to making a straight tree, so I would
embrace it…and leave a bottle of Jager on the porch in the flower pot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, the flower pot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t just leave it sitting out…this is not
the South…and the home owners association already hates me, so we must hide the
Jager.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anyway….my plan was to have
everyone who came over that holiday season take a shot before they came in,
that way my tree would not look so bad if my guest had a slight buzz on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
The Mommy Dearest Year</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
This was the year that I put my fine parenting skills to use
and nearly killed Kellen when the tree fell on him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To this day I can still hear, “MOM!!!!! ARE
YOU TRYING TO KILL ME??!!??” being screamed out <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>from under the tree.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yeah….he might need counseling for that one
later in life….I am saving up now. </div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
The Man Friend Year</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
I wised up this year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Had a friend help.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And this
really was a good choice as this was the year that I got it in my head that we
would go out and chop a tree down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hmmm…..looking
back on it, I am pretty sure that me and a saw should never come in contact.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do have to say that while we were all set
to cut down the tree ourselves with that little janky hand saw that they give
you at the tree farm…I was thankful when the lady walked pasted me with a chain
saw and asked if she could cut it for us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Yes….YES YOU CAN!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
The tree came down and I managed to get it home, in the
stand, straight and did not harm anyone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>THAT WAS A GOOD YEAR!<o:p> </o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
This year?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>UM?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There will be no Jager (at least not for me)
and Kellen has told me that there is no way in hell that he is helping me and sadly,
I do not have a man friend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>SO WHO THE
HELL KNOWS WHAT WILL HAPPEN.</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7hb67Uth4dE/TtUb22UnhNI/AAAAAAAAAd4/VN_4IU5_e6c/s1600/VAC.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7hb67Uth4dE/TtUb22UnhNI/AAAAAAAAAd4/VN_4IU5_e6c/s1600/VAC.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
Pretty sure that this will be the Christmas Vacation year and
some random rodent will jump out and try and kill me followed by bursting into
flames…ya know….maybe. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>GraceFallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16353766213324906708noreply@blogger.com0