Feeling crabby.

This pretty much sums up how I am feeling today, as since it was already written in the stars, I am just going to go with it.  Well, all of it up until the part about 'don't put up unnecessary walls with those you trust'.  Seeing as there are very few people that I trust and I am not in the mood to make new friends or open up to ANYONE at the moment....I am in a full on contractor mode when it comes to walls.  Bring on the building materials.  Or at least a hard hat and tool belt...

Cancer


By Rick Levine

It's not easy to tell others what you want even if you are in touch with your feelings. You aren't interested now in showing your vulnerability because of how much energy it would then take to protect yourself. You probably have less to defend than you realize, especially if you are among friends. Although there's no need to say too much in public, don't put up unnecessary walls with those you trust.

How the hell did I get such a smart kid? I'm a proud mom!

Paste Eater or Super Hero?

It's that time of year again.  Time for me to take time off of work.  Head out to the suburbs.  Hang out in a hallway sitting on a chair that was made for about half of my actual butt size.  And hope and pray that I get told that my child is right where he needs to be on the learning curve and that he has not caused any undue stress to the teacher (as she looks about 105 and tying her shoe might cause her to stroke out).

Yes--Parent Teacher Conference Night is tonight.  Gee.  Yeah.

Here is the funny part of all of this--yes--it gets better!

I was looking at the PTA notes from a meeting last month and they noted that conferences would be a bit different this year.  Yes, all of what I listed above will be happening, but this year the teachers are to bring up a college plan as well as a possible career choice.  And this is a quote "Even in kids as young as Kindergarten."  WHAT?  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  Hmmm....lets see, what was I good at in Kindergarten?  Probably not much of anything and nothing that I would have gone to college for.  Ok, maybe if I could major in coloring or paste eating, but really, I can't see that as a life long career.

I am happy that they want kids to start thinking about college.  I am.  Honestly.  But to talk about it now, at 6 and 7 just seems a bit silly.  I am 34 and I still have no idea what I am good at or what I want to be if I ever grow up.  I sure as hell don't see my kids knowing the answer to those questions either.

Ok..I take that back.  If by some chance Cooper's teacher looks at me and says, "We have a way of testing for potential super hero powers and Cooper was off the chart..."  I would full support this path in life...and make sure he had a cape! 

                             ***Cape to be added later, once his teacher and I have a little chat***

Slutoween

On my 4th trip to the Halloween and or party store (don't ask) yesterday I observed an interesting interaction between a dad and his tween daughter.  And when I say interesting, I really mean-thank god that I have boys and never have to deal with this on my own-kinda of interesting.
Anyway--as I have posted already, Halloween is pretty much a time for the male portion of society to be as bloody as they can be while the female portion needs to be as slutty as they can possible be. 

Now, being a female myself (don't be all shocked by that!) and not really a small female at that, I have had to give the issue of the slut-tastic costume some thought from time to time.  Do I go with the super short french maid or something a bit more ass covering?  But as an adult-I feel that I able to make the right choice for me...and how fat I am feeling that particular year.  

So last night while on trip number lost count to the Spirit Halloween shop, I noticed a tween girl and her dad.  The girl was your typical 10-11 year old girl and her dad was the typical divorced, play dad two days a week kind of dad.  Nothing wrong with that-just setting up the scene for all of you that were not there.  The girl is walking around, looking at all the costumes while her dad (bless his heart) is doing his best to still be cool weekend dad, but not totally let his daughter get rapped while out collecting candy.  After much debate and batting of the eyes, they collectively go with some sort of modified french maid thing.  And I say modified as it looked almost like the adult version, but to make it "teen" they added some pink sparkly things to it.  But in the end, it was still  too short.  It was still too tight.  It was still too much for a 10 year old...in my humble not having a daughter thoughts.  My heart really went out to the dad on this one.  I could tell by the look on his face that he really wanted her to be a fully covered clown with clothing to her feet, but he knew he was not going to win that war or any of the wars that would be faught from now until she was off to college. See--poor guy.

My biggest issue with picking out a costume with my kids this year was to go vampire or vampire zombie.   And honestly--thank goodness for that!

Ok...got to run.  My french maid/bar whench/sexy nurse/cop outfits just came in the mail....       

PSA--For the Dudes...

 "Yeah, but we are just hanging out, right?"

YOU DO NOT NEED TO SAY THIS!

I hate to burst your little bubble, but you do not need to say this to a female when hanging out in a friend type of environment or at the START of a very laid back relationship.  JUST DON'T SAY IT!

I know you all think that you have it ALL figured out and that you run the world and everything, but I am here to tell you that we (chicks) have a pretty good view of what is going on in the world as well.  Ok, well most of us do anyway.  I am sure that the crazy ones wondering around may not see it the same as the rest of us, but you have to trust that there are more normal females (who are capable of rational thought) then nutters.

Again-point being is that you do not need to say this!!!   TRUST me when I tell you that we are 'just hanging out' with you as well but we are smart enough to not say this to you!
*oh...and saying that to a girl is not going to get her to have sex with you...so don't even think it!

BOO!

Hey Hey Hey...it's party planning time and with that we have the re birth of the party Nazi.  Well, party Nazi lite as I am really not going all out for this party and I am not going to stress if anyone shows up or not.  Hey-if they don't, that is just more Jell-O shots for me! Well...MAYBE that is a small lie as I do care if people show up or not, but I will at least not let it get to me as this is a busy time of year and my announcement of a Halloween party is a bit late.

I wasn't going to have one, but my dear friend Elle has been hounding me to get on the party planning track and since I skipped out on my luau, I felt as if I had to. 

I have never hosted a Halloween party before, and even at party Nazi lite I would like it to be kinda sorta kick ass...so what do I need to get this poppin?  Um yeah...I just said that.

HELP ME OUT PEOPLE OF THE WEBNESS!      

My Monday rant...

Girls who act like...well, girls.

Ok.  I know that I am so guilty of this and even more so over the past few months, but for the most part I pride my self on not always acting like a full blown girl.

Here is the situation:
Out with female friend.  Female friend runs into recent hook up.  Hook up is friendly, but not as friend as friend would want him to be.  Hook up goes about his night.  Friend spends night crying on my shoulder. Gee...what fun for me!

So here is the thing.  Friend is all bent as hook up hasn't called her and they haven't hung out since the "incident".
Me-Have you called him?
Friend -No.  I sent a txt.
Me -So you haven't really spoken to him, but you txt?
Friend - Yes
Me - Did he txt you back?
Friend - Yes, but he hasn't asked me to hang out or anything.
Me - Did you guys hang out all the time before?
Friend - Well...no.  I haven't really known him all that long. But he slept with me, so he should have called!
Me - Crap...please don't cry....again.   - hugs friend-

So...here is my thing.  He didn't sleep with her.  She didn't sleep with him.  It takes two.  They slept with each other.  And yes, maybe he could have called by on the same level she could have called him as well.  There is no rule that states the dude must be the one to make the call.
At the time  I did not tell her this, as it was my job to be the shoulder to cry on, but I did have this conversation with her the next day (when booze was not in her system). 

Me - You could have called him.
Friend - Yes, I know.  I guess I should have.
Me - Call him
Friend - Ok. Hanging up now.

Friend -Called. He was waiting for me to call him.  We are going out tonight.
Me - Gee....shocking.

All I am saying is this -- don't always wait for the other person to make the move because maybe they are waiting for you to do the same thing and you never know what you could miss out on if you are both solo checking your cell  to see if anyone called, yet never dialing a number yourself.

But then again...I am tragically single so you may not want to listen to anything that I have to say!