Conversation I had with a friend last night-
Friend: You need to go back on a dating website.
Me: WTH??? WHY?
Friend: Because your blog posts about dating and all the crazy things that happened to you were hilarious!
Me: So let me get this straight. You want me to go through hell again just so I can make you laugh?
Friend: Pretty much, yeah.
MY FRIENDS SUCK!
Do I pick E Harmony or Match????
Friday, April 15, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Did she just write 'tribble dress'? Oh yes...she did!
I have a list of things that I am going to get done within the next month *I swear*
Finish cleaning the stupid garage - I can not tell you how much I hate this area of my house. It is just wasted space and I have enough of that with the men I've been dating...I certainly do not need it in my house!
Plant a garden - Yeah...I think I have said that every year since I bought my house, but this is so the year. I can feel it!!! I just have to learn how to actually garden and Iwill join the ranks of co-workers that come into the office day after day trying to unload zucchinis that are the size of a small child.
Fix my BBQ - Cuz me, playing with a gas line sounds like loads of fun, don't you think?
Tribble dress - Don't ask. Just trust.
Get new glasses - I hate the eye doctor. I would rather go to the dentist and I hate that too, but I am all squinty and I am starting to look like Gilbert Godfry. No man wants to date that!
Last on my list - Karaoke. Yes...I know...stupid, but I am almost 30 and I have still not done it. IT'S TIME BABY....I see some horrible Pina Coloda Song in my future.
Good god....I have to maybe think about getting a life soon...my blog posts are boring!
Finish cleaning the stupid garage - I can not tell you how much I hate this area of my house. It is just wasted space and I have enough of that with the men I've been dating...I certainly do not need it in my house!
Plant a garden - Yeah...I think I have said that every year since I bought my house, but this is so the year. I can feel it!!! I just have to learn how to actually garden and Iwill join the ranks of co-workers that come into the office day after day trying to unload zucchinis that are the size of a small child.
Fix my BBQ - Cuz me, playing with a gas line sounds like loads of fun, don't you think?
Tribble dress - Don't ask. Just trust.
Get new glasses - I hate the eye doctor. I would rather go to the dentist and I hate that too, but I am all squinty and I am starting to look like Gilbert Godfry. No man wants to date that!
Last on my list - Karaoke. Yes...I know...stupid, but I am almost 30 and I have still not done it. IT'S TIME BABY....I see some horrible Pina Coloda Song in my future.
Good god....I have to maybe think about getting a life soon...my blog posts are boring!
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
It just looks...so happy
Not sure what is going on with me over the past few months, but as you can tell from reading this blog, I have been struggling to find where I fit in.
As I was driving into work this morning, a question snuck into my head...
Shouldn't I be happy just being the soccer mom?
It's not a bad thing. And it works well for millions of women around the world. I see them on the sidelines of all the sporting events that my kids go to. They look happy chatting amongst themselves about the daily ins and outs of the PTA and whatnot. It looks like it works for them. They plan their bunco nights and talk about their husbands are doing at coaching. Ok...let me just say that I really don't know what they are talking about as they don't talk to me, but I can assume this would be the topic of conversation.
It just looks...so happy.
They are not leaving at half time to go and set up for roller derby. They are not attempting to be an assistant football coach with stray glitter on their faces left over from the night before and dressing like a super hero.
When the game is done, they say their good byes, plan play dates and hop in their SUV's with husbands and go do yard work or what ever it is that happy little families do.
It just looks...so happy.
So, the question is still there...
Shouldn't I be happy just being the soccer mom?
Should I give up on trying new things and meeting as many different groups of people as I can and try and join the soccer mom set? Something tells me this will be harder then dancing around with pasties on stage. As I have said before, they have already made the nooker choice, so breaking into that group might be tougher then one would ever imagine.
Should I give up on volunteering with the derby? Should I say good bye to trying out burlesque? Should I find a bunco group to join?
Should I try and be just a soccer mom?
As I was driving into work this morning, a question snuck into my head...
Shouldn't I be happy just being the soccer mom?
It's not a bad thing. And it works well for millions of women around the world. I see them on the sidelines of all the sporting events that my kids go to. They look happy chatting amongst themselves about the daily ins and outs of the PTA and whatnot. It looks like it works for them. They plan their bunco nights and talk about their husbands are doing at coaching. Ok...let me just say that I really don't know what they are talking about as they don't talk to me, but I can assume this would be the topic of conversation.
It just looks...so happy.
They are not leaving at half time to go and set up for roller derby. They are not attempting to be an assistant football coach with stray glitter on their faces left over from the night before and dressing like a super hero.
When the game is done, they say their good byes, plan play dates and hop in their SUV's with husbands and go do yard work or what ever it is that happy little families do.
It just looks...so happy.
So, the question is still there...
Shouldn't I be happy just being the soccer mom?
Should I give up on trying new things and meeting as many different groups of people as I can and try and join the soccer mom set? Something tells me this will be harder then dancing around with pasties on stage. As I have said before, they have already made the nooker choice, so breaking into that group might be tougher then one would ever imagine.
Should I give up on volunteering with the derby? Should I say good bye to trying out burlesque? Should I find a bunco group to join?
Should I try and be just a soccer mom?
Friday, April 8, 2011
It's new music day!!!!
You might not know this about me, but I have ADD. I am totally scattered and easily distracted by anything shiny. Add to that the fact that my mind never shuts off. NEVER. Pretty sure that is why I don't sleep much. I am always thinking or worrying about something. I think that is part of what makes me a good friend. I am always in constant thought about...well...anything.
The only time that I can get my mind to even slightly slow down to a normal pace so that I can focus is with music. You know the saying - music sooths the savage beast? Well, my brain is like the beast.
When I am at work and I know that I need to get a project taken care of, I pop in my earbuds, hit play on the Touch and do not turn it off for the next 8-10 hours.
It's the same for working out. I know that most people need music to keep them going or pumped up enough to work out, but I need it to stay on the treadmill for more then 9 seconds. I get bored.
And since I do get bored, I get bored with music as well. I have a large collection of songs and they run from mainstream to WTF is THAT? I like it all. But I adore new music. LOVE IT.
I love hunting out an artist that I did not currently have in my collection. I am not going to say that I am the first person to ever download this person or anything, but they are new to me and I love it!
It's like finding a great pair of shoes...on sale. Total happybuttwiggledance!
How do I do this? I take one day/afternoon/evening...some chunk of time...once every month or so and I hunt. I dig though websites and Itunes. I think that I am on the mailing list for almost every indi/music label website out in the world. I sit with my magazines (yes, the paper kind, that come in the mail) like Rolling Stone and I READ about new music. It's a strange process, I know, but it works for me.
It's been a while since I have done this, so I think that today is a good day for that. My mind is starting to wonder a bit too much...even with the music on and THAT is never a good thing.
But....it could explain to some of you why you get random txt from me about something odd completely out of nowhere!
The only time that I can get my mind to even slightly slow down to a normal pace so that I can focus is with music. You know the saying - music sooths the savage beast? Well, my brain is like the beast.
When I am at work and I know that I need to get a project taken care of, I pop in my earbuds, hit play on the Touch and do not turn it off for the next 8-10 hours.
It's the same for working out. I know that most people need music to keep them going or pumped up enough to work out, but I need it to stay on the treadmill for more then 9 seconds. I get bored.
And since I do get bored, I get bored with music as well. I have a large collection of songs and they run from mainstream to WTF is THAT? I like it all. But I adore new music. LOVE IT.
I love hunting out an artist that I did not currently have in my collection. I am not going to say that I am the first person to ever download this person or anything, but they are new to me and I love it!
It's like finding a great pair of shoes...on sale. Total happybuttwiggledance!
How do I do this? I take one day/afternoon/evening...some chunk of time...once every month or so and I hunt. I dig though websites and Itunes. I think that I am on the mailing list for almost every indi/music label website out in the world. I sit with my magazines (yes, the paper kind, that come in the mail) like Rolling Stone and I READ about new music. It's a strange process, I know, but it works for me.
It's been a while since I have done this, so I think that today is a good day for that. My mind is starting to wonder a bit too much...even with the music on and THAT is never a good thing.
But....it could explain to some of you why you get random txt from me about something odd completely out of nowhere!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
BLAH...
This week has been a rough one for me.
I really can not put into words how I have been feeling over the past few days.
I think it really all started on Sunday at the flag football game and just went down hill from there.
Major funk.
Work has been shitty. There is some crap going on here that I just can not deal with at the moment. I am good at my job and I love it, but...there have been times this week when I have wanted to scream. Head down. Music on. Just avoid the drama!
Personal life has been a downer as well. I guess the whole 'not feeling like I fit in' to any one group thing has really gotten to me a lot more then I thought it had. As much as I say I hate people, it would seem that I don't and I really want to have people around me all the time. Not sure when that happened, but it has and I guess now I just have to deal with it. It's official-I like people.
It also hit me yesterday that I should not continue with burlesque. I do love it. REALLY REALLY love it, but I am just not that good at it. And in a town with such amazing performers, I do not want to put out any second rate act. I was reading an article yesterday about the class I took, our performance and some of the girls that were in our recital. At that moment I felt such pride for being a part of it and great sadness due to the realization that I am just not that good. :heavysigh:
So what should I do now? I am not sure.
I think that I will be mellow for a while, stay home and avoid the world.
I feel about myself like I feel about a performance and I don't want to put a second rate Tamara out in the world.
Bring on the Netflix, jammies and comfort food....this girl is saying good bye to being social for a long time.
I really can not put into words how I have been feeling over the past few days.
I think it really all started on Sunday at the flag football game and just went down hill from there.
Major funk.
Work has been shitty. There is some crap going on here that I just can not deal with at the moment. I am good at my job and I love it, but...there have been times this week when I have wanted to scream. Head down. Music on. Just avoid the drama!
Personal life has been a downer as well. I guess the whole 'not feeling like I fit in' to any one group thing has really gotten to me a lot more then I thought it had. As much as I say I hate people, it would seem that I don't and I really want to have people around me all the time. Not sure when that happened, but it has and I guess now I just have to deal with it. It's official-I like people.
It also hit me yesterday that I should not continue with burlesque. I do love it. REALLY REALLY love it, but I am just not that good at it. And in a town with such amazing performers, I do not want to put out any second rate act. I was reading an article yesterday about the class I took, our performance and some of the girls that were in our recital. At that moment I felt such pride for being a part of it and great sadness due to the realization that I am just not that good. :heavysigh:
So what should I do now? I am not sure.
I think that I will be mellow for a while, stay home and avoid the world.
I feel about myself like I feel about a performance and I don't want to put a second rate Tamara out in the world.
Bring on the Netflix, jammies and comfort food....this girl is saying good bye to being social for a long time.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Hey there, D Bag...
As a parent, there are a lot of things that I teach my kids.
Say please and thank you.
Look someone in the eye when speaking to them.
Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.
Don't let people see you picking your nose.
Treat people like you would want to be treated.
The last one is a big one for me.
I often get told that I am too nice. That sounds like such a negative. Have I been nice to people when I should have smacked them? YES! Am I nice to certain people that really need to be told to fuck off? YES!
Why? Because I am sure there has been times when I have been the one that should have been smacked but instead, someone was nice to me.
Treat others like you want to be treated. It's simple. You should try it.
And life is just too short to walk around being a douche bag (although I know that some of you just can't help it).
Oh....but never assume that I am stupid or I am going to let you walk all over me. I will shank a bitch, but I will smile while I am doing it :)
Say please and thank you.
Look someone in the eye when speaking to them.
Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.
Don't let people see you picking your nose.
Treat people like you would want to be treated.
The last one is a big one for me.
I often get told that I am too nice. That sounds like such a negative. Have I been nice to people when I should have smacked them? YES! Am I nice to certain people that really need to be told to fuck off? YES!
Why? Because I am sure there has been times when I have been the one that should have been smacked but instead, someone was nice to me.
Treat others like you want to be treated. It's simple. You should try it.
And life is just too short to walk around being a douche bag (although I know that some of you just can't help it).
Oh....but never assume that I am stupid or I am going to let you walk all over me. I will shank a bitch, but I will smile while I am doing it :)
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Do you have a flag?
My first Sunday as the Assistant Coach to the Black Knights did not really go as I would have liked it to.
In my head, I was ready to not really know what was going on, but I had read my flag football handbook and I was ready to try my best.
Then I got coach blocked (the flag football version of the cock block).
I got to the field early, as is my way, and I checked in. I was told by the guy that runs the league that the other assistant coach was already on the field with some of the players and told me where to go.
Other assistant coach? That was news to me as when I spoke with the head coach on Thursday, it was just the two of us.
Oh well...the more the merrier!
Got to the field...it was a dad that I had some previous contact with as he had coached my son's soccer last year and his son was in Coop's class. I walked up (dressed in my red coach t-shirt, so he has to acknowledge me) introduce myself and let him know that I am here to help. YAY...so far so good.
We gather the kids, the head coach is not there yet, but we are going to work on receiving and running with the ball. Even I can had a kid a ball...
Then I coach blocked.
The other assistant coach turned to a dad that was standing on the side "Hey, that's your son, right? Yes? Ok, what's your name? Ok, you take one group of kids and I will take the other and we will work on them grabbing the ball"
Um...hey...heeeelllllooooooooo.........I am the other assistant coach. Ok...never mind...i'll just stand here I guess.
The head coach got there and I helped him with the other set of kids and work on some drills. All went well. He may not know what the hell to do with me, but at least he spoke to me and let me help.
The game went well. The other assistant coach and the head coach worked with the kids on the field and I made sure the boys on the bench stayed somewhat focused on the game. It would have been nice to be out on the field and pick some plays....but I do understand that I am not as 'skilled' in the flag football world.
The other moms did not talk to me, but I am used to that. They all sit and talk to Christina (step mom). Well, one mom came up and spoke to me after the game, but her kid does not go to the same school, so she is not aware that she is not supposed to talk to me. It goes against that 'we can't be nice to both the mom and step mom' thing that the moms at school seem to have down to a science. I give her two more games and she will be hip to the sideline game plan :heavysigh:
After the game, the other assistant coach wanted to talk to the head coach, I was standing there, so I thought that I should be in on the chat as well. Ya know....talk about the plays and what not. The head coach did his best to get me involved while the other coach would not even look at me. Hmmm....if I would have known that would have been the case, I would have slept in and skipped the shower this morning! The other assistant coach went on to say to the head coach that they should meet for for beers to go over the plays. No. I was not included on that invite.
I really just wanted to help out in something that my kids were involved in. Due to my work schedule I can' t be in the class as often as their step mom is and Forrest and Christina have held a monopoly on coaching soccer and basketball for the last few years. So...this was my first shot and I was really looking forward to it. I knew that the mom crowd would be that way, but since I wasn't going to be on the sidelines with them, I was not all that worried about it, but to have one of the other coaches snub me, well....I was not really ready for that.
As I walked to the car, shoulders slumped, head low...I just felt defeated. I felt embarrassed for even offering to volunteer and be involved. I wanted to cry, but refuse to give into my emotions in front of my boys.
Guess I can just be the full time snack mom for the team. But I am keeping the coach's t-shirt.
In my head, I was ready to not really know what was going on, but I had read my flag football handbook and I was ready to try my best.
Then I got coach blocked (the flag football version of the cock block).
I got to the field early, as is my way, and I checked in. I was told by the guy that runs the league that the other assistant coach was already on the field with some of the players and told me where to go.
Other assistant coach? That was news to me as when I spoke with the head coach on Thursday, it was just the two of us.
Oh well...the more the merrier!
Got to the field...it was a dad that I had some previous contact with as he had coached my son's soccer last year and his son was in Coop's class. I walked up (dressed in my red coach t-shirt, so he has to acknowledge me) introduce myself and let him know that I am here to help. YAY...so far so good.
We gather the kids, the head coach is not there yet, but we are going to work on receiving and running with the ball. Even I can had a kid a ball...
Then I coach blocked.
The other assistant coach turned to a dad that was standing on the side "Hey, that's your son, right? Yes? Ok, what's your name? Ok, you take one group of kids and I will take the other and we will work on them grabbing the ball"
Um...hey...heeeelllllooooooooo.........I am the other assistant coach. Ok...never mind...i'll just stand here I guess.
The head coach got there and I helped him with the other set of kids and work on some drills. All went well. He may not know what the hell to do with me, but at least he spoke to me and let me help.
The game went well. The other assistant coach and the head coach worked with the kids on the field and I made sure the boys on the bench stayed somewhat focused on the game. It would have been nice to be out on the field and pick some plays....but I do understand that I am not as 'skilled' in the flag football world.
The other moms did not talk to me, but I am used to that. They all sit and talk to Christina (step mom). Well, one mom came up and spoke to me after the game, but her kid does not go to the same school, so she is not aware that she is not supposed to talk to me. It goes against that 'we can't be nice to both the mom and step mom' thing that the moms at school seem to have down to a science. I give her two more games and she will be hip to the sideline game plan :heavysigh:
After the game, the other assistant coach wanted to talk to the head coach, I was standing there, so I thought that I should be in on the chat as well. Ya know....talk about the plays and what not. The head coach did his best to get me involved while the other coach would not even look at me. Hmmm....if I would have known that would have been the case, I would have slept in and skipped the shower this morning! The other assistant coach went on to say to the head coach that they should meet for for beers to go over the plays. No. I was not included on that invite.
I really just wanted to help out in something that my kids were involved in. Due to my work schedule I can' t be in the class as often as their step mom is and Forrest and Christina have held a monopoly on coaching soccer and basketball for the last few years. So...this was my first shot and I was really looking forward to it. I knew that the mom crowd would be that way, but since I wasn't going to be on the sidelines with them, I was not all that worried about it, but to have one of the other coaches snub me, well....I was not really ready for that.
As I walked to the car, shoulders slumped, head low...I just felt defeated. I felt embarrassed for even offering to volunteer and be involved. I wanted to cry, but refuse to give into my emotions in front of my boys.
Guess I can just be the full time snack mom for the team. But I am keeping the coach's t-shirt.
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