Are you my daddy???

About every three years or so I get a wild hair up my butt to sit for hours on end hunting the WWW in the hopes that I will magically find my biological father.  And every three years or so I come up with the same ol thing....nothing.

After talking to Statler last night, it occurred to me that it has been a while since I have done this and it might be time to give it a try again.

The thing is, I don't have all that much to go on.  His name....and that is about it.  A few years back I ordered my birth certificate from the state with the thought that a middle initial or something would be on it, but it was blank (again...thanks mom). And his name is pretty common....so endless Internet searches come up with nothing.  When I was married, the ex had a friend that was a PI and he passed on the limited info that I had to him.  He came up with the same thing I did.  So my thought was that if Mr. Magnum PI could not get a hit.....I'm pretty sure that I am not going to have any better luck.  I think that was the last time that I really looked into finding him.

So the question would be...why do I feel the need to find him at all?  In 35 years of not meeting the man, I have done ok.  And since (from what I have been told from my not to helpful mother) he does know that I actually do exist and he has never looked for me....why the hell would I even care???

He is probably some POS that I don't want around anyway (after all he did hook up with my mom...and we all know how I feel about her). 
*In my head...he is an entertainment lawyer.  Not sure where I got that from, but ever since I was a little girl and would think about who my dad was....entertainment lawyer was always what came to mind. Odd

And I am sure that I could live the rest of my life being ok with not meeting him, but here are the reasons why I think I would like to chat with the man

1- What if all of his family members died of some strange illness at 36?  That would give me one year left to scratch all the stupid things off my bucket list. Look if I am going to get some flesh eating genetic disease soon....I am going to want to go sky diving first.  Who's going with me???

2- What if I meet and fall in love with my half brother and we get married and have babies with two heads????  Ok. I will admit that was something that I saw on Private Practice (not  the babies with two heads part) and I have never heard of that in real life....but it is a concern when you have no idea of who your family is.
*I actually turned a guy down for a date once as he had the same last name as my biological father.  I have no idea if there was any relation, and I did not ask.  It was just too strange!

3-What do I tell my kids when they ask me why I don't have a father?  "I'm sorry boys, but the truth is, your grandmother (btw...they have never met her either) was a bit of a whore at 18 and did not take the time to   keep in contact with your grandpa and so I have no idea of where he could be.  But I might have passed on some strange illness to you and you might die at 36.  Can you pass the chicken?"  Hmm....while I am far from June Cleaver, I don't think that I will ever have that conversation with them!

I guess one day he will need a kidney or something and look me up.  Until then, I will try and not bring any two headed babies into the world :)

And this photo has nothing to do with my life...just thought it was cute!