I've seen your picture...your name in lights above it...

Overcoming fear is a crazy thing and powerful thing.  It's almost like a drug in the way it can get into your head and almost change the chemical make up of your brain. And I wont lie, when you have dome something that scares the crap out of you...it's a rush.  I can see why people get hooked on adventure sports and things like that...I never would do anything like that, but I get the feeling behind it.

Something that I did not think about was how overcoming your fear can change peoples perseption of you.  I still see myself as this mousy little person who is still afraid of so many things in the world that I am shocked I leave my house everyday.  But others seem to have this idea that I can do anything and am brave-their words, not mine!

It's funny to me how many times a week I have the conversation with someone, "So, you will do ABC....but not XYZ???"   Um...YES!  Don't get me wrong....I am proud of the fact that I took on my stage fright and did by best to kick it's ass while wearing hardly any clothes, but when it comes down to it, I am still pretty much a wussy. And simple things still make me want to vomit.

Like getting photos taken.  Dude...what burlesque performer does not like to be in front of the camera?  Um...this one.  I have put it off...forever.  Being in front of just one person and their camera just seems so...invasive.  And what if I look silly?  Or fat? Or you can totally see that one eye is larger then the other???????  AHHHHHHH....the pressure is just too much!

But...I have this Groupon that I need to use soon, so I went in and spoke to someone about getting some photos done.  Just one shot.  Just one set of clothes.....nothing wild.  Fully covered.  45 min.  In and out and done.   But even just writting that...I kind of want to get sick a little, but I am looking forward to it.

I met with Mike, the photographer from http://portlandpinups.com/ last night and he seems like a wonderful fellow and put me at ease....even if he did tell me that I was one of the weirdest girls that he has ever met.  Guess people find it odd that random cheesy Tamara is involved in burlesque and roller derby (he found it even more weird that I don't skate, just help out...guess he wants to take a photo of me with a black eye???).

So, sometime in November I am going to do my best to overcome yet another one of my many fears and try and look good in front of a camera.  Maybe if I post of shot of me looking horrified and puking in my purse people will stop thinking that I am so fearless????