Girls--If you are out and you are drunk, please, for the love of god, DO NOT start licking the mustard bottle. Even worse? After licking the outside (YOU DO NOT KNOW WHO HAS TOUCHED THAT--JUST SAYING) you go on to actually EATING the mustard. But not on anything. Oh no...you just start dumping it in your mouth.
GIRL--THAT IS NASTY. There was a whole basket of tots in front of you. If your skinny drunk ass is THAT hungry-EAT THE TOTS!
Oh....and that evil nasty glare you gave me when I snatched your keys out of your hand? Yeah, I know that was really meant to say, 'Thank you for not letting my sorry ass get pulled over by Mr. Police Man. Thank you Tamara!'
**and yes, I do have photos** :)
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