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Friday, February 15, 2013

Can I buy a monthly pass to ride the sin wagon?

Forgive me Blog Readers, as I have sinned. 

**For the record, I am not Catholic, so that statement is recited purely based on movies that I have seen.  And based on what sort of movie, now I can either have zombies invade my town, a hit man come after me, be a part of a government cover up or fall in love with my best friend who is set to marry my sister.   If I have to pick one....I'd go with the zombie invasion.

Anyway...I feel that I have sinned a whole bunch this week. And while none of my sins are really bad sins or for that matter even listed specifically in the bible, I am sure they could all be tied to something on the list.  You know, the list of all the big, sit in a box with a priest kind of sins. Sloth, gluttony, wearing white after Labor Day.  THE BIG SINS.

So here is my confessions (yes, I did just sing that like Usher) and they are in no particular order.

1) Within the span of 24 hours, I single handily ate a whole FAMILY sized bag of Cheetos.  The.Whole.Thing.  And most of that Cheetos eatin' was done while laying in bed at 3am.  Sloth?  Gluttony? Breaking every Weight Watchers rule known to man?  Yes, yes and I am going with a third yes.

There is a good chance that the color orange with cause uncontrollable vomiting.

2) To go hand in hand with the first sin, we have my supremely unhealthy amount of sloth like laziness this past week.  Pretty much I would just go home, hop in bed and sit in a comfortable Netflix high until 3:30am.  Rinse and repeat for the next day.  Who does that?  My bed is starting to get a permanent indent from my butt.  No one should spend that much time in bed unless they are ill or naked with another person.

3) Spent waaaay too much time thinking about the ex.  I blame the fact that Thursday was Valentines Day and I was feeling all alone and pissed that he dumped me for someone else.  He lied and cheated. I know that is goes against all bible stuff, but I don't want him to be happy... yet. Yeah....this one might fall under the self pity sin.  Hey, not sleeping and having your hands turn a freakish orange color will mess with your head!  I think that this one might not be a sin, but fall under the 'thou shall not covet...' listing.  I'll have to do some google research or ask Siri. 

4) My house. UGH.  While I am not at the Horders or calling child protective services or anything, it's a pit.  One of the things that I hate the most is a dirty house. It bothers me so much that since 9am today, going home and cleaning it has been pretty much the only thing that I have thought about.  WHO THE HELL WANT'S TO CLEAN ON A FRIDAY NIGHT?  Hmmm....maybe I am not a sinner, but mental?  Again, I'll look into that.

5) Pinterest.  Yes, I KNOW that this one is not in the bible. Well, I don't own a bible, so I did not double check, but I am almost 97% sure.  This sin is due to the time suck that it has created in my life.  So many crafts. So many recipes. So many....things that I honestly have no clue how to re create, so I am not even sure why I am looking.  The only good thing that I can say about this one it, at least while I was looking at Pinterest, I was not eating Cheetos. I would hate to get my phone all covered with orange!

So....there you have it.  My list of sins for the last week.  I am not sure what I do next. Not sure if the hail Mary's or whatnot's count in this situation or at all for me, seeing as I am Lutheran.

How about I just vow to step away from the Cheetos?

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