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Thursday, July 28, 2011

Your face is going to freeze that way

I don't understand the 'mean mug' or why random people do it.

For those of you that don't know-the mean mug is when someone that you don't know, for no reason feels the need to give you the death glare and walk away.

In most cases the classic mean mug involves females.  Not completely sure why this is the case, but it seems to happen more with the chick then with the dudes.  And it is never a solo mean mugger. OH is always a gaggle of muggers.  They might not all be participating in the nasty face parade, but it seems to make the head mugger feel better initiating the mean mugging if she has her posse of sour pusses with her.

I was party to this last night.

Just hanging out.  Chatting.  Drinking.  Having a great time when we were mean mugged by one little troll of a mugger (and her gaggle of trolls).

And it was not a random...girl walked by, maybe had a gas pain or her thong rode up up high at that moment causing her to was a full on walking, don't break eye contact mean mug.

DUDE? WTF?  REALLY  Trollette?

She quickly shuffled away with her group and averted eye contact once the initial mean mug was complete.

And this is what I don't get....WHY?  Was there some point to that?  Are we in the jungle and you just peed on my foot to mark your territory?

And you don't know me.  I am big girl (bigger then snarky Troll, that is for sure).  And you don't know if I am crazy or not (SHUT know who you are) or if I will return your mean mug with a slap to the face.
*Ok....I'm a wussy and avoid all confrontation, so I would never do that...but I am sure that there is some scary crazy girl that would.

See, this is why girls are always so bitchy with each other.  Stop the constipated mean mug face and try a smile at a random other female once in a while.  I promise it will hurt less then a cup of blue drank hitting you up side the head!    

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Cuz it would make me giggle

Every so often I feel that it is time to start dating again.  I usually time this with going to the dentist, GYN exams and getting my licensed renewed.

So basically ALL THINGS THAT SUCK come around at the same time.

I know that I posted that I should secretly video the dates   but I am thinking now that we need to step it up a bit.

I need to combine the secret videoing with an obstacle course.  I am thinking like Wipeout.

Who would not enjoy a blind date more if it also had big balls??? Wait...that sounded KNOW what I mean.

The big red balls...the Wipeout balls!

I will admit that this plan needs some work and that possible someone might get physically hurt....

But it just might be fun :evilgrin:

I will give this some more thought....

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

It's that time of year again

I am thinking that I need to start planning a party.  Oh yes kids...

It's Luau time!

Since I had to cancel it last year, I feel like it has been a lifetime since I have pulled out the tiki torches, stuck some pork in the oven and made my friends take photos as a surfer (yes, I do own one of those card board cut out things with the whole where your face goes....what of it?)

Now to schedule the stupid thing.  That really is the hard part!  I am pretty sure that I have something going on almost all the weekends left in the summer, but I will find the time.

Oh....and as always I am already worried that if I plan this, no one will come.

Not gonna lie....was feeling a bit let down by some of my friends for not making it to my birthday party this month.  It's cool...I am over it, but if I make Jello shot bitches had better show up!

I am thinking August 21.  It's a Sunday.  We might have sun.  I will make the shots.

You wanna come?  I promise to only make you take one photo as a surfer dude!


Friday, July 1, 2011

IT TWO - The strip club version

While on a random trip about town this weekend I was reminded of something so terrifying and horrible that I have blocked it out for the last few years....

The night the clowns took over the strip club

Even now, three years later, my spine shivers at the thought!

Some of you might know this story and a few of you were there to live through it with me (hugs to that crew!).

A group of us girls went on a Strip O Rama Barfly party bus for a bachelorette party.  All was going well, the night was full of smiles, laughter and drinks.
Did I mention drinks?  As in...a lot of drinks?  Yeah, that might have had something to do with the added horror.
Anyway, we get to the last club of the night, The Hawthorne Strip, and a couple of us are a bit slow to make it into the club as we were still on the bus (pretty sure the ability to walk was an issue). So when we finally get off the bus and make our way to the door, someone comes walking out and states, "You do not want to go in there. TRUST ME!"
Hmmm.....ok, completely random stranger, now you have me curious, now I must go in!

And then the door opened and what came walking out was terrifying.


Clown after clown after clown.  And not happy, let me make you a balloon animal clowns, NO...these were Insane Clown Posse kinda clowns.  Clowns that had been drinking all night.  Clowns that had makeup dripping and smudge off of their faces.

Do you know how disturbing it is to see a clown with half of his makeup rubbed off, staggering out of a strip club with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth?????

And there were a ton of them or a gaggle or what ever you call an ass load of creepy clowns from hell.  There were so many of them flowing out of the door that I thought for a moment that I was making it up and I had to look at my friend and ask, " you see this too or is it just me?"
Thank god she was seeing the same thing I was!

That was some mess up shit...just saying!

Happy 4th of July weekend to you all...and learn from me, if someone says "You do not want to go in there"...DON'T!
XOXOXO  Tamara