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Tuesday, November 30, 2010

The stockings were not hung...yet

The one holiday tradition that I truly love is stockings.  Ever since I was a little girl, it has been the one thing in my life (holiday wise) that has never changed.  I loved it when I got married and did my best to teach the Ex the joy of the stocking and once I had kids, passed it on to them.  I put thought into the stocking and take joy in seeing the faces of those around me on Christmas morning filled with joy.
*Yes, being single has made the last few years with the stocking a bit of a bust (mine is empty) but I will not let that get to me...too much.

Anyhow, stockings are a big deal to me and we have had the same stockings since the boys were born..or before, as is the tradition to keep the same one.  The one at my Grandma's has been with me since I was about 3!  So today I got out all the Christmas boxes and started to unpack.  I got to the second box and noticed that the lid was off...AND THE FUCKING MICE THAT LIVE IN THE GARAGE GOT INTO IT!!.

GRRRR.....the one and only box in the whole garage that I care anything about and this was the one box that the lid was left off and they got to.  I am heartbroken.  I know it's silly and we can go and get new stockings (and we will) but it just makes me sad.

And with this sadness comes revenge! I have gotten rid of the furry little creatures from hell (who knows when they got that box) but now I am on a full on war with all things small and fuzzy.  Bring it on Mickey!

PS...if anyone needs me on Wed night, I will be stocking shopping....with a flask.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

One son is spinning on the pole while the other son shoots him with the nerf gun. Good times!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Is frostbite covered under workers comp?

Look...I know that I should be happy to have a job.  A place to go to every day for hours and hours.  A place that gives me money for showing up.  I get this.  BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD--DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO MAKE US COME TO WORK WHEN THE HEAT IS BROKEN???

Dude--it's going to be a high of 29 today and  it is so cold in my office that my coffee froze as soon as I walked in and my fingers are sticking to the keyboard.  I have so many layers of clothes on that I feel like Ralpie's little brother from A Christmas Story!  God forbid I have to pee at any point today as it is going to take me 30 min to make my way to the final layer that I have on!


If you are going to make us come in and sit through this crap, at least supply us with some chicken fried steak or something.  A little warm gravy would go a long way in warming my  cold dead heart!

   This is work today...inside...freezing!

Monday, November 22, 2010

Must vent.

I have to use my blog as a tool to vent today. 

My relationship with my ex husband is a pretty good one.  We get along and are friends.  The only time we fight is when it has something to do with his wife.  I could have a whole blog just devoted to this subject, but for now, let me just say this...   She is a fine person.  I am sure she is a great step mom to my boys (and how could she not be since she was my nanny before she magically hooked up with my ex). Honestly the only issue I have with her is that she does not know her place when it comes to my kids (um...they have a mom, thanks!) and she feels the need to speak to me in any tone that she pleases.  If you know me, you know that I am not good and holding my tongue and keeping my thoughts to myselff, but I have done a great job when it comes to her.
I would love to go off on her, just once, but I don't.  It's better for the boys that way...and I am doing my best to hold on to that.  BUT HOW NICE DO I HAVE TO BE TO HER?  REALLY?
My son was working on a class project  for his Birthday this weekend.  One of the parts of the project was to add photo's of your family...pretty easy stuff.  He was working on this at my house this weekend and my only involvment in everything was to hand him the photo album and go about cleaning the house.  THAT WAS IT!  I guess he found the one and only photo of my ex and I in the whole book, and used that as it was THE ONLY ONE OF BOTH HIS PARENTS TOGETHER.  If you ask me, it's a horrid photo and I would have loved for him to use something else (at least one where I had makeup on!) but it was not my project, so I did not say anything.  He also picked one other photo of him and his brother.  Easy enough...or so I thought.
Today I get an email from the ex and he is telling me how Nooker (that's what we call her) is all upset and crying as she was left out of the project. UM...OK?!?!  What exactly did they want from me on this one? Do they think that I just had photo's of her around the house?  Do they think that I TOLD my son he could not add her?  NO and NO!  I did my best to tell my ex this, but he just kept emailing me and telling how upset she is.  OK...I do need to add that she WENT OFF (remember that I told you that she takes whatever tone she wants with me?) on me last week when my car was in the shop and I turned to Forrest for help to get the rental car.  Seriously...WENT OFF.  So, in light of all that, I am supposed to feel sorry for her as she was not in a photo on Kellen's Birthday poster?  REALLY? 
For the most part, I am a nice person.  I have a big heart and I care alot about people.  I do not want to see people hurting or in pain-ever, but how much do you all really want from me?   

And for the record (as I never lie to the blog world) I really did not have anything to do with her not being included.  Stop giving me that's the truth!

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Guess I needed a sailor

While not a bad day, it was a sad day for me.  My mind is focused on things that I hate and have no time for.  And if I allow it the time to think about these things, then it just sends some note to my eyes and then they cry.  With the crying comes a red nose.  With the red nose comes snot.  With the snot comes me in the middle of a used tissue mountain.  You get the idea...and it's not really all that pretty of a mental image.

In the hopes of trying to avoid Mt. Snotrag, I turned to the Wii/Netflix combo to see what it had in store for me.


Oh yes, I said it-Popeye.  1980's blond singing Robin Williams...THAT POPEYE!
Yes...I know that this is not a good movie.  In fact, I would agree that it is in fact a very bad movie, but it always makes me smile.  I remember seeing in when it came out with my Grandmother and so whenever I see it now, it always makes me think of her. 
And today I have Cooper watching it with me as well.  I can't help but smile as I sit here writing this, Popeye in the back round and Cooper giggling like mad every time something stupid happens in the movie (so he is giggling alot!).

Thank you, Popeye!  You made me smile, but I could do without the Popeye song stuck in my head--toot toot!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

I need sleep.

This time of year makes me miss romance.  I would love to be all angry and mad at the word and say stupid crap like "I don't need romancee." or "It's just how the media wants you to feel.  Don't feel like a schmuck because you will die alone!"  or any other combinations of the above statements.   But in truth, I just really miss romance or couplness. 

I am sure that I feel this way most of the year, but around the holidays it always seems to be more on my mind.  I start to think about all the holiday activities that will be starting soon, and while I can do them solo and with friends, some stuff would be nice to do with someone that was crazy about me. :heavysigh:

But I am also tired and mushy today and feeling....all....girl like, so if you ask me about this tomorrow I will call you a liar and shank you.  You have been warned!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

I have horrid red hair, but found a great burlesque song. :)

Hugs and porn and stuff...

Grab a cup of cocoa kids and settle in.  We are going to have a good old holiday conversation!

HA...I see that got your attention! this will not be about porn so much as the way technology has advanced and how people view porn. *and a big thanks goes out to CS for allowing me to have this conversation with him last night, because this kind of thing should not be left to live in my head!

The conversation last night was really about HD and big screen TV's and scary some things  can look when brought to you in this format.  Lets face it, some things just don't look all that great in HD (have you seen  some of the local early morning news anchors? EEK!).  And certain items, such as a few body parts, just don't look all that good ever. 

And while my heart has never really gone out to females in the porn industry in the past, after thinking about it last night, I almost felt bad for them.  I know I have my issues with how I look (and I am sure they have many other issues as well) but I could never imagine seeing myself, naked, in strange positions, trying to look all sexy and into it, on a 74inch plasma HD TV.  NO WAY IN HELL!  If I were to ever have to see that, I am sure that I would spend the whole time looking at every imperfection and flaw that I had (really, my ass looks THAT bad?...OH GAWD!....where did that roll come from? can see how this conversation would go...).  Poor porn star girls have to see all that and be judged by it. I almost want to give them all hugs...but I wont as we are in cold and flu season...and well....I have germ issues. Anyway-I am just saying...I think that would suck to have to see myself like that ( I can hardly stand a normal photo of myself maybe I am a freak?)

Now that I have you thinking about porn, I will leave you with this thought....

3D TV.....  :)  

Monday, November 15, 2010

Day one...of MANY.

I hate when I start something and don't finish it. HATE IT.  It eats away at me like some task heavy Jewish guilt.  And no, I am not Jewish, but somewhere along the line I seemed to have picked up this little tick along the way. I have given up trying to fight and just go with it at this point.
So in order to try and finish something that I started about three years ago, I (once again) signed up for some burlesque classes.  This time it is with a really school.  Instructed by wonderful people who know what they hell they are doing. YAY!  I honestly can not wait, but since I have tried to do this twice in the past and it has never worked out, I feel that it is too early to talk about and I am sure that it will mess the whole thing up.  So I am going to hold off on details for the moment.  I know...I am never that much of a tease, but I have to go with that just this once.

What I WILL tell you about is my plan to not look like a crazy drunk cow while doing anything burlesque related as this is a great fear of mine.  Will this new plan keep me from fall off the stage when I trip over my own feet?  Nope.  Will it make me not want to puke when I finally take the stage? Doubt it.  If anything it will just make be angry and sore, but I am going to try my best.

Yesterday I started a bit of a self imposed workout/diet plan.  I got up in the wee hours on a Sunday morning and had a nice run ( walk) around my hood and did my best to eat healthy for the rest of the day. YAY day one!  Not sure how good I will be today as I never actually went to sleep last night (night spend with a few tears) and that tends to lead me down a path of snacking like a crack head, but I am going to try and keep the down to a minimum.

And since the only way to keep me honest is to let other people in on my thought process (it's scary. you have been warned) I am going to post new pics once a week just to see how I am doing. I have until Feb 1st to get into "bump and grind" shape!
*I know it looks like I have some sort of definition to my stomach, but I was sucking it in!  Trust me...I have none!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Douchebag Dude

While eating my salad last night, I had a thought.  Well, in truth I had two thoughts.  The first one being that I wish I would have ordered the pizza and skipped the salad and the second thought was that I wish I was a dude.
But not just any dude...a douchebag dude.

Let me explain:

We all know the douchebag dude.  We all have at least one friend who is the douchebag dude.  And if you are a female, at some point you have dated the douchebag dude or for the rest of this post, the DBD. Also, to our male friends, we have all said, "Don't be the DBD!"  It is honestly never something that we encourage (and by we I am talking about chicks). 
So while the DBD is not really a great thing to wish to be, once in a while I think it would be nice to just do whatever the hell I wanted and not care.  Things like sleep with multiple people (not like in the same bed at the same time, but maybe on different nights of the week) and not care.  The DBD goes from chick to chick and never gets attached and therefore, never gets hurt.  The DBD sleeps soundly at night knowing that since he does not give a crap, his thoughts are free from worry.  Oh to be the DBD!

But......I am neither a dude or a DBD.  I am just a stupid girl, with a big old heart and stuff. :kicksrock:  :)

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Santa Tamara

It could be all the NyQuil that I have downed in the last two days or the fact that I have been home alone and left to entertain myself (never a good thing) but I started thinking about the holidays that are just around the corner and stupid little traditions that go along with them.

First off--the tradition of gifts. while that is not the true meaning of the season, it is a part of it and I pride myself on being a somewhat good gift giver.  I am big on the gift basket.  Pick a theme and run with it...I am good at that!  Last weekend I started my shopping and my little creative brain has already started to plan what Santa Tamara will be showing up with this year.  I can't wait!  While I love to get gifts, I love to give them even more, so seeing people smile at this time of year is always a big thing for me.

Ok...we have covered gifts, and now on to the part that I really love....the random stupid holiday tradtions and memory making.

I am big into this one.  I have things that I have to do every year and if I don't, well, it doesnt really feel like it was Christmas. Here is my list-
Go and see the tree is Pioner Place.  Now, you can go and just see the tree, but I like to make a day of it.  Tree. Startbucks. Shopping.  Drinks at certain places around Portland.  This is also best down while walking, and enjoying warm drinks at the tradtional watering holes.  Yes...I am smiling while writting this and thinking about it.
The Singing Christmas Tree.  It's a bit more on the tradtional side and not really something that you can get creative with, but I still love it.
Getting my tree.  Ok...this part I kinda of hate and I am sure that is it gets closer to the time of getting the damn thing, I will blog about it, but for now...lets just leave it at 'it's a tradtion, but one I hate'.
White Christmas -the movie.  STOP LAUGHING!  I love this movie. LOVE IT!  I love Bing Crosby and how the world just seemed simple and happy.  This movie gets me into the holiday spirit every time.  And if you watch it with some hot spiced's even better!

I know that I have more, but I think that my last dose of meds is kicking in and I need to take a nap.  So...what do you have?  What traditions do you have that you MUST do or you just don't feel like you have fully taken on the season? 
And which traditions would you like to join me on?  You never know what kind of adventure I can come up with if taken over by the spirt of Rudolph (I was going to say Santa, but when it's cold out, my nose turns red...)

Friday, November 5, 2010

Tattoo or homemade vodka???

This was my horoscope for today.  When I got to work and read it, I thought "YES...the stars are telling me to go and get a tattoo tonight!"  But after thinking about it for a second, that did not seem quite right. HMMM....I wonder what they are trying to tell me????  I am ok with the spontaneity part but feel that I am lacking on the passion part. I am all about creating something special and impacting others...but how?  OH-maybe this is telling me that I should make another batch of skittle vodka?  That sure does seem to make an impact on others!

What do you think this means for my day???


By Rick Levine

Tonight's Scorpio New Moon activates your 5th House of Spontaneity, inspiring you to express your passion in a creative way. But this isn't about trying to squeeze one more day of productivity out of a boring job situation. It's about creating something special that truly matters. Give whatever you are doing your best shot because you can impact others now in a profound and lasting manner.

Thursday, November 4, 2010


I have this strange love for Kentucky Basketball.  Maybe not strange if I were to have gone to school there, lived there or even visited there, but since I have not done any of those things and I live on the West's strange.  I get it.  Trust me.

I have always wanted to see them play live and since I doubt I will be making my way to Rupp Arena anytime soon--I thought that dream would have to go unfulfilled.


Ok, it is safe to say that I am pretty much as geeked up as I can be about this.  I am not usually one to root on a visiting team (remind me to tell you all about a hockey game that I once attended in Arizona-yikes!) but I am all about cheering on my Cats!!!!!

The only bad part about all of this?  They are going to be here in Portland without Tubby.  You know how I love him. Hmmm.....maybe the Gophers will be here next....I can show them some love! 

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

I want to be the squeeky toy...the much loved squeeky toy.

Guys are like dogs or small children.  And no, I am not male bashing or anything-so hear me out on this one.

If you have ever spent any time around dogs or small children, you might have noticed that when it comes to toys or bones, they only want the particular item when someone else does.  The bone/toy can sit in a corner untouched for days, but as soon as anyone else comes along, the original toy/bone owner wants it back.

Guys are like dogs or small children.

I would like to point out that this is not currently what is going on in my life (yes, at the moment I am the bone collecting dust in the corner, not being drooled on!) but something that I have observed over the years with past dogs in my life and in the lives of friends.  But for some reason last night I got to thinking about this topic, and felt the need to ramble on about it today (sorry blog followers).

To be fair-I am sure that girls do this too.  We never want what was once ours to fall into the hands of another.  But this can be with anything.  Shoes, bags, houses.  It does not have to be a guy.  With guys, I don't see it that way.

So men of the world-help me out.  Shed some light on the inner workings of your brain and let me know why you all seem to do this.  Why is it that you never want the girl you had until she has been discarded, left in the corner, moved on and is looking forward to someone else drooling on her?  Well, maybe not drooling, as that is just creepy, but I was trying to bring the whole dog thing full circle.