Okay. I get it. I really do. It’s Portland and we have a lot of dark and stormy days. We have a ton of clouds and rain. I understand all of this. What I don’t understand is this – When we get a little bit of sun, why does all fashion sense just go out the window and most of Portland starts dressing like a whore or someone that is …special?
Yesterday was our first nice day in a while and we reached a nice 74 degrees out. Yeah, for my friends on the East Coast and Texas, I know that 74 is nothing in your eyes, but here…it’s damn near tropical! So I get why people want to shed some rain gear and show some skin, but do they have to go so overboard???
I wish that I would have been able to snap a photo, but while staring and trying to drive and not kill anyone, I missed my window of photo snapping on the truly fashion challenged gal that was walking up Burnside last night. I will do my best to put into words what is seared into my brain…and not in a good way.
I think it is best to start with from the ground up with one:
Shoes: Some sort of Doc Martin/vampire hunting/end of the world apocalypse army boot that went up to her knees. Cuz really…when it is that warm out, the FIRST thing I go for is my knee high army boots…don’t you?
Legs: The part of her legs that were not shaded by the vampire boots had some sort of tights/legging combo, but they were almost shear with some sort of dots on them. Making her look like she had the worlds nastiest case of the pox. SEXY!
More legs: Booty shorts. That is all I have to say on that.
Top: SPARKLY TUBE TOP. I would like to take this moment to add that that this was not a small girl. AT. ALL. So the top (and I still have no clue how the hell it was staying up) look like some sort of grotesque mating trout thing. YUCK.
It was just whole levels of wrong, but seeing as that was just day one of the nice weather…I am sure that I am going to be seeing a whole lot more of this kind of thing. Hmmm….maybe I too need a sparkly tube top? Or…not.