Hey Monday, lets be friends!

Just when you think that you have gotten a jump on Monday….something like this happens…

I spent most of Sunday being lazy.  Lazy is an understatement.  I would actually go as far as to say that I spent Sunday channeling my inner sloth self.  It was heavenly. 

But Monday morning came around and in order to be a productive member of society, I had to get some stuff done…and in a hurry.

So when the alarm went off at a little after 5am, I jumped up and got a start to my day.

I was keeping a mental checklist of all the tasks that I had accomplished by 6am and was feeling pretty good about myself.

            Showered

            Got the boys showered and dressed

            Made lunches for all three of us

            Unloaded the dishwasher

            Loaded the dishwasher

            Clothes in the washer and dryer

            Fed dog

            Three bags packed for school and work

Phew….yeah me!  That is a lot to get done on a Monday morning (small pat on back!) 

The boys get picked up for school and I headed out to work.  Still feeling like I was ready to do a bit of Monday butt kicking.

I am halfway to work when in one small quick moment, Monday came to me and smacked me in the face..hard. 

I looked down to notice that along with my work shirt and shoes….I was still in my flannel jammy pants.

WTH?  How did I do that??? 

Then I remembered that while I was getting dressed this morning, I had to stop and go help Cooper get ready….and just went on with my morning and never looked to see what I was wearing.   I just sipped my shoes on that were by the door, grabbed my coat and ran out.   

I know that it is Halloween and if I were in an office that lets us dress up, I would have just kept on my way to work in the jammy pants and called it a costume, but I don’t, so I had to head back home to change.  UGH.  

So what did I learn this morning?  Always respect Monday…as she has the power to be evil!

*Nope, no photos.  For one, I was super late at that point and two, when this was happening, I had to intention of telling the world how dense I am….but after thinking about it, I thought it might make you laugh*

    

Cuz this is....THRILLER!

When the Thriller video came out in 1986, I was 6 and the video scared the hell out of me. Don’t get me wrong, I would watch it over and over again, but it still freaked me out.

I hated the part where MJ turns into the zombie and is doing the Thriller dance along with all the other zombies.  I hated that evil Vincent Price laugh.  HATED IT.  **and I had an MJ poster on my wall.  He was with ET...so in my mind, that is how he should look!** 

But at the time I was a hard core MJ fan, so I sat and I watched it…and watched it and watched it. 

Jump ahead a few short years, yeah…who am I kidding…jump ahead about 29 years to last night.  Since I am going to be spending my upcoming Sat morning trying to learn the Thriller dance (no, I do not know it, so shut up!) I thought that I would pull up the video on YouTube and watch it with the boys.

I thought that they would love it.

I thought they would think it was cool.

I thought they might be a bit scared.

The video ends, and I asked them what they thought. 

Cooper goes first, “That was kinda of stupid and so not scary at all, mom.”

Kellen follows that up with, “You really think that you are going to be able to do that dance?  Like with other people at the same time?  You can’t really dance.  You sure you don’t want to just watch your friends do it?”

DUDE!  I get no love in my house! 

And yes, that statement from Kellen was followed by me trying to make him do the dance with me.  

He asked if he could go to his room and read.  

That’s cool…..he does not know it yet, but this weekend he is learning the Thriller dance with me…and maybe The Dougie

Super Mario is coming to town....

Last night I got a txt from my ex that made me want to poke him in the face…with a stick.

“FYI, Cooper and Kellen asked me about Santa Clause.  Both figured he wasn’t real and I confirmed it.”

WTH?  WHY?  WHAT THE HELL WOULD MAKE YOU CONFIRM THAT SHIT? 

Ok, I get that my kids are growing up and at 8 and 7 they are able to figure out a few things on their own, but I was not ready for him to snatch Christmas joy away from me.  IN THIS CASE YOU LIE!  You tell them that the mall Santa is not “THE” real Santa, but just a minion for the hard working guy who lives up at the Pole.  You LIE and you tell them that he is real and that if they are not good, you will call him and rat their little asses out to the Big Guy.     

This is my right as a parent…all parents, really, to keep the twinkle in their eyes just as long as we can while at the same time forcing them to act like the well behaved children that Santa wants them to be.

The ex has taken that from me…revenge will follow.  Just not sure yet as to how…anyway…. 

I was discussing this with a co-worker this morning and when her kids got to be a bit older; her ex started leaving gifts not from Santa, but from stars that her daughter was into at the moment. 

“Merry Christmas! From The Backstreet Boys”   WOW…what kid would not love that???

 This is what I am going to do this year…

The gifts are all going to be from Mario, Yoshi….Donkey Kong….you get the idea.

So while on Christmas Eve, little ones around the world will be leaving cookies and milk out for Santa and Rudolph…..my clan will be leaving out gold coins, mushrooms and bananas. 

 HA…ex husband….how do you like them apples…or bananas as the case may be?!?!

PS…Um….ex….you spilled the beans on Santa, but are still buying into the Tooth Fairy thing….we might need to talk about what mythical characters we are sticking with and which ones we are hanging a pink slip to…just saying.  

Run, Rabbit....Run!

I know I am lazy.

I know that I am out of shape.

I know that I hate to work out.

I know that I hate to push myself beyond my limits.

I know that I am not good at trying new things with people that I do not know.

What I don’t know is why I signed up to participate in the Hybrid Adventure Games and why I actually DID the race.

Would this be a good time to admit that I spent the whole week wishing for a twisted ankle or explosive diarrhea?   Pretty much anything that would make it so that I would not have to actually go and do the race.

Ugh. No.Such.Luck.

Saturday morning found me injury free and up at 5am playing loud old school Jay Z in the hopes that I would get pumped up enough to want to kick this races ass.  And to be able to proudly sport my 80’s workout gear (hey, if I am going to do something that scares the hell out of me, it is going to be in a costume!) 

I was ready!  I can do this! 

And then we got to Ski Bowl and I saw the start of the race…the start of the race that went straight up the mountain. CRAP.  CRRRAAAAAPPPPPP!  2.5 miles.  ALL UP HILL.

ALL

UP

HILL

UGH.

I started out at a slow run, but along with a large majority of the people around me, ended up walking most of it.  With being lazy and the elevation…I thought for sure that I was going to die.  Or at least I wanted to, but I did not.  I stuck with it and made it all the way to the top.  I would have enjoyed the beautiful view at the top, but the feeling of wanting to vomit was a bit too strong.  And I had to turn my ass back around and go down the hill. 

Yes, I did slip while trying to make it down.  And no, you are not shocked, I can tell. 

With the small slip, I tweeked my knee, so my plan of running back down the hill was not a great one.  My knee hurt like hell, so I would run a bit and walk some.  For a while I was all alone on the trail and thought for sure that I was the last one to complete the race…BUT I WAS NOT!  THERE WERE SLOWER PEOPLE THEN ME!!! 

After that came running through tires, hurdles, hurdles with barbwire, having to slide down a hill in a jacked up slip and slide thing (yay for being near death and wet!), obstacle course, tractor tire toss, keg toss and archery. 

I did not finish everything, but that was not 100% my fault.  THE LINES FOR EACH EVENT WERE CRAZY!  I stood in line for an hour for the tractor tire toss (all the while having to chat with people that I don’t know-AHHH!) and then is started to rain and get COLD!  So after a really crappy tractor toss (or move rather as we all know I am not tossing a tire) I found Elle and her car key and ran to the car to put on dry clothes. 

And there was no way I was getting back into another hour long line after that!!

Today is Monday and I am still sore, but I am so happy that I did it.  I will mark that off of my ‘to do’ list and see what new adventures that I can add.