My Blog List

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Flaskworthy

I have been thinking about a list of activities that I have come to call, Flaskworthy.
Ya know, like Elaine and her men that she deemed 'Spongeworthy', but my list does not include men, although there are some men that I can only be around if I am drinking, but I am trying to keep this blog (ok, this post) nice.

Flaskworthy activities -

Bathing Suit Shopping:  Ok, this one should be done with a w hole bottle of whatever makes you happy, but since we don't want anyone to think we have a 'problem', a flask is a better option. During this dreaded activity, when one is feeling fat or or if they look like hell, take a swig of that there flask.  You try on enough suits, and take enough sips, that you are bound to find the perfect suit....or that nice buzz you have will at least make you not care that you have a bit of junk in the trunk.

OB/GYN Appointments: Well, maybe not if you are going in for the OB part of OB/GYN, but for the GYN part...HELL YA!  Look, if I have to sit on the edge of that table while wearing a half shirt of paper towels in a cold room, waiting on the MD, I might as well take a small sip from my magical flask. If nothing else it will keep the chill away while I wait and might take some of the sting away when the MD asks me if I am seeing anyone new, followed by the sad look she gives me when I say no.

Costco - Day Before ANY Holiday: I would like to work out a deal with Costco on this one.  Maybe a flask with their logo on it?  Hey, I'm not proud!  If I am stuck walking around a store that is so packed it feels like a bus in Calcutta, I'll walk around with a Costco flask. 

DMV: Take a number and take a sip.  I think you could make a drinking game with this one based on how long you are stuck in the purgatory that is DMV.  For instance, every time you see someone skip the line and walk to the front and get shot down and told to take a number. Here's to you douche bag! Take a sip. 

Children's Parties:  If it involves a bounce house, giant rodent or bad pizza; pack the flask!


Unlike the list of men that are Spongeworthy, the list of activities that are Flaskworthy are almost endless!

So grab a pretty flask, a designated driver and have fun!



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