It occurred to me last night that I might not be embracing this upcoming holiday with open arms...or a cup full of cheer. That in fact, I might be a tad negative and grumpy about the whole thing. Usually I am pooping candy canes and singing Christmas carols in my sleep..ok...well...not really, but you get the point.
Last night while at the 15000 trip to the store so that the boys could point out the Wii games that Santa was to drop off at our house on Christmas morning...I was minding my own business and politely staring off into space when above all the sounds that I was tuning out I heard, "Do you think that this is a good one? I am worried. It's our first Christmas together and I JUST HAVE to get a totally great gift!" Ok...I will full on admit that I honestly had no idea that anyone was standing next to me, let alone having a full on conversation with me. As I turned my head to see where this sound was coming from, I made the mistake of making eye contact...much like feeding a stray cat...you do that and you are never going to get rid of them!
"Um...yeah...that's a good game" All of my shopping wisdom and at that moment, that was all I could give her? *shopping guilt set in.
"Really? Cuz I am just not sure. I just want to give him a great gift!" All this was said with bright eyes...and I think she even might have hopped up and down for a second (I need to mention that she was young...I am thinking not even old enough to drink yet...and therefore still sweet and didn't hate the world*like me) and she just smiled at me. It scared me for a moment...the eerie sweet smile of the clueless, but then I sorta kinda felt bad. Here was this person all happy and filled with Christmas joy and the hope that this would be the best holiday ever with her new man and here I was....pretty much wanting to poke her with a stick.
"That's a good game, but this one might be better. It's just came out last week, so it's a safe bet that he might not have it yet." I even tried to force a small smile (yeah...not proud...just owning up to it).
"YES! I remember him saying something about this game...I think we saw it on TV or something. I am going to get this one! Thank you!" and then....she did it.... All bright eyed and full of the holiday spirit, she turned around (and in my head it was all slow and dramatic) and she said, "I hope you and your boys have a Merry Christmas!" and she skipped off into the night to make her purchase and to feed deer in the woods or whatever else people like her do.
UGH. Double UGH. Fine. This Ebeneser mood that I am holding on to must be lifted. I am not sure yet as how to do that and I am certain that if it is to be done...booze will have to be involved. Either way...I am going to do my best to feel some sort of fricking holiday cheer!
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