Bus stop

My office used to be in a nice and quiet little area of Northwest Portland. Tree lined and mellow, about the only crazy thing that went on was the siren of the EMT as it zoomed to the old folks home that was crossed the street. So fast forward to our new office location...on the corner of crack and methhead. It is safe to say that this location has a bit more action! We still have the sound of the sirens, but lets double that by about 100 as we are just up the street from the EMT main office. Also, we are just kitty corner to the local drunk tank...now that is some fun just waiting to happen!
Ok...now that you know the general history of this location...let me take a moment to talk about the bus stop that is just outside of my window. There are some CHOICE people who hang out at this bus stop. I am not sure where they go or where they come from, but while they are waiting at the this corner stop...they are a snazzy group!
Just a few things that I have noticed while working and taking a sneak peek at the bus stop. Men love to go shirtless. And it is never a hot, six pack looking kinda dude...oh no! It is ALWAYS the kinda dude that is missing MANY teeth and has a beer belly that would put 9 month pregnant women to shame. Oh yes, these are some FINE men! FINE!
I am thinking of starting up something called the "bus stop blog" and posting some pics of these people cuz really, why should I keep all this goodness to myself?

Gonna be all alone

My little guys leave on Sat for 10 days. :sigh:

I am not the kind of mom that is overly attached to my kids and I enjoy my "me" time, but I am starting to worry that I am going to miss them..ALOT. And I know that i am going to have a hard time while they are gone as it just so happens that this vacation with their father falls at the same time as Cooper's 5th Birthday :second sigh:

Oh well. I will do my best to stay busy and to hopefully get into as little trouble as humanly possible.

I am thinking that I will paint the living room :yuck:

This weekend

I am going to take this weekend by storm..oh yes I am! It is all about trying new things, thinking outside the box and living a little. I was going to say living on the edge, but in truth that will not be the case as I will have crackhead A and B with me the whole time.

Not sure yet what we are going to do...but I want it to be something that we never do. I am sure to keep you posted on what we come up with.

As for myself, and when I do not have the lil bits...GOODNESS i need to get out of a rut and do lots of things that I have never done.

Well...within reason....as I have never been to jail either, but til the best friend moves back to Portland...I am going to keep that off the list.

Maybe time to get a new tat??????

When do you give a second chance?

I got called "obnoxious, over the top, full of drama and full of tude" this week and to tell you the truth, all those words stung. Like getting hit with a police taser kinda sting. And I don't like it. Not one bit. I am not mad that I got called those things, cuz looking back on the situation, I am sure that I was being all that...and maybe even more (I will admit to the night being a bit fuzzy on the brain...jager...need I say more?) but the part that sticks with me is that the person who said that to me just wrote me off at that point.

While drinking is never a good thing, I will admit that I was way drunk (and he may not have known that) and that I was dealing with a ton of crap things that had gone on that week and was just...well...to be honest, I was actin' a fool. I get that. I do, but it's not like I always do that. And the worst part was...he didn't give me a chance to explain that to him. My friends that know me, know that I am not like that and know what led up to me acting like that...they get it, but this dude...well...nope.


So...here is my question

Do you give people a second chance? Do you understand that we are all human and may (god forbid) mess up once in a while? Now, I can see somethings not being ok, but as far as I know, I didn't do anything high up on that list...no one was killed and I am pretty sure I did not sleep with any of his friends...things high on the list!


Well, the one good thing to come of this is that I am done with the drinking...ok...well...not like AA meeting kinda done, but will be staying far away from the Jager...for it is not my friend!

Things that warm my heart

Cuz the sun is out, and I am feeling a little on the bummy side, I thought that I would remind myself of things that make me smile.

Getting a greeting card in the mail
ice cream
Little kids singing
An old couple that has been together for EVER
Hamburgers
Hugs
When my son picks a flower and hands it to me
Seeing someone with a giant afro


And I am sure that there are a whole lot more, but that is all I have at the moment!

Hmmmm......where did i leave off?

The dating blitz that I have been involved in is starting to stress me out. People kinda turn into a blurr (drinking may not help that all that much) and my hopes are kinda starting to...die.

I think that I need to update my list of dates as it has been a little while and you know me, if I don't get them out of my head and down on "paper" then they will all swirl around in my brain and I will never be able to keep them all straight!

Date...um.....not sure what number this is, lets just start over and go with A!

Date A:
Hmmm....it's odd. I can't really say anything about this one. Had a good time. Got along well. I drank way tooooo much, so that could be why I don't have a good read on this one. He has asked to go out again, and I would not be against it...just not have had the time. Ugg...why did I start out this night drinking Jameson? How on earth did I think that would be a good idea. Shame on me for that one!!

Date B:
Ohhhhhh. Ohhhhh dear. Bless his heart as he did not do anything WRONG. Not one thing. But this one...well....looked just like my step dad. Yup...NUFF SAID!

Date C:
This one went well. In truth, it was more of a play date and not a date as we all hung at a park and had kids to look after, but it was fun. I could maybe see myself going out with this one again...and really wanting to go out again and not just saying that as I could not come up with anything better to get out of it, but I don't think that I will. I did not see myself as his type. I am pretty sure that he dates hot chicks. And no, I am not saying that to put myself down or for anyone else to come in and tell me that I am hot, but when I say he dates hot chicks, I am pretty sure we are talking about OUT OF THIS WORLD HOT CHICKS. And I just don't really need that little self esteem bullet in the back of my head...better to just chalk that one up as friendship.


So.....that has been it so far. And I am almost ready to give up and call it good. I am ok with being single. Just do me a favor...if you don't hear from me for a while, please come check on me. I really don't want to be eaten by cats! :-)

Death of Rhythm

Last Friday I hit up Lola's Room with some friends for 80's night.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH WHITE PEOPLE?

Ok...so I KNOW that I am a "white people" but I was in shock at the spastic convulsions that people were trying to pass off as fly dance moves.

I know that it was 80's night and that bring out a certain dancing that should only be brought out when some "Come on Ilene" starts to play...but.....ACK!

Pretty much...this is where rhythm goes to die!

Oh well...at least I had fun people watching!

YUCK

So I was working in Cooper's class on Tuesday and I started to see a trend with the pre-schoolers. NOSE PICKING! I was almost contagious..like a yawn or starting to itch when talking about lice!

One little random kid would stick his little pudgy paint stained finger up his little nose and then some other random kid would see that, and thing "Oh hey! It's been a little while since I have dug for some gold...I must do it now!" And it would spread for kid to kid to nose picking kid.

YUCK. JUST YUCK!

ARGGGG!

Man are nasty little creatures sent here to pick away at my skin and tournament me til the day I die!

Ok...after seeing that in writing, I may have been a wee bit over dramatic, and in truth, it is not ALL men, just one. One little man. One man out of millions that has been placed on this round little earth to drive me insane. No...I have no proof that this was his reason for being born, but crap...it sure has hell feels like it.

Maybe I am just in a snit and I am letting everything get to me today. Yeah...that could be it. But if by some chance you are out in the world, little evil man, and you read this....

I WISH A POX UPON YOU. A POX I SAY :-)

ok....i take that back. Maybe not a pox, but a dang nasty paper cut!

HA!

I have come up with a plan. I was looking at this whole dating thing as a way to meet new people and to possible share what I have to go through, good and bad, with the world. And that was ok, but I needed to come up with something better.

And after saying yes to a date with a guy that is a lawyer, it hit me...I am going to go out with men that have jobs that most people hate! It's kinda like having a party with a theme and we all know how much I love a good themed party!!!!!

Now I just need to come up with a list of jobs that typically people kinda cant stand.

I have gotten cop out of the way and soon will be lawyer. Hmmmmm....whats next? Grave digger? I will have to give this new plan some thought :-)

Random Starbucks things...

While I was waiting for my coffee this morning (or my lil gift from God as I like to call it) I found myself zoning in on the people around me and the random conversations that they were having.

At the first table was a couple. This couple was younger, well dressed, bright eyed and newly married. Well, I take that back. The female at the table was bright eyed and looked ready for the day and the heavy conversation that followed, but the guy at the table looked like he just woke up and wanted to be doing ANYTHING else but having a conversation at Starbucks.

Now, here is the thing. The Bucks is not all that big, and the table that they were at was smack in the middle of the area where you stand to wait for coffee and the chick was LOUD. She could tell that I was looking at her (cuz that is what I do when eavesdropping) but she did not seem to want to chill on the volume at all.

She was mad at the dude (of course) because their schedules were off and he did not get up early enough in the morning to be with her and then there was something about her making the trip to Seattle, which she made sound like was equal to going to Africa or something. He on the other hand said nothing the whole time I was there and really just looked like he was sleeping wtih his eyes open. Hmmmm.....I wish could have stayed to see what the end result of that one was and to figure out why in the world that woman wanted someone to wake up early. I have no clue what was going on, but on this one, I pick the dudes side.

Next to them was a table of four men that all looked a tad bit on the hippie side and were have a sort of bible study. Not sure what it was that they were discussing, as they had the common sence to stay a bit quiet, but in any event it looked to be a heated conversation.

At the third table was a little old man, who I was pretty sure was doing the same thing that I was, and watching the people around him. I say this because when I looked at him, he winked at me....AWWWW...nice to see that the elderly can sit and be snarky about the world as well. I wonder how long he sat there...and if I he figured out what was going on with the young chick and the dude. I should have slipped him my card:-)

It's been a while

After having a chat with the ex husband and filling him in on my dating adventures, it hit me that I had been slacking when it comes to my blog. Not that anyone really reads this, but if I have left you hanging...I am sooo very sorry!

Hmm...where did I leave off? I think that I am now up to dates 3 and 4.

Date 3 was someone that I was not going to go out with. Not that there was anything really WRONG with the guy, just the fact that he was a Cancer (I don't seem to get along too well on the romantic front with them, as I am one) and as Melanie so kindly pointed out after I showed her his profile, the last set of books that he read were the Left Behind books. Ok...to be fair, if we were going by books alone, I am sure that I would not be anyone first choice seeing as the last books that I read were the Twilight set and since I am not 16, that may look odd...but whatever...they were dang good books....so bite me! :-)

And to be honest, I would not have even really looked at the books read part, or taken note to the Left Behind thing, but after Mel kinda freaked out...well....I kinda bumped him down the list of people to date. Cuz if ya know me....you know that someone uber churchy is just kinda not my type.

So, as I said, I was not even going to go out with him, but at the last minute I found myself with a free afternoon and in need of coffee, so I asked him to join me at starbucks. Turns out the guy is pretty nice, and if he is uber church dude....he did not show that on the first date. We ended up going from coffee to drinks and watching some b-ball. I will admit, I was shocked that we had a good time. I may or may not hang out with him again....not sure yet.

Date 4.

So far, I gotta tell ya...this guy is pretty cool and I am sure that my ex would love for me to get hooked up with this one. Coach at a high school and a history teacher. Has some kids. Been married. We went out for drinks and ended up closing the place down. We had a good time.

I ended up going out with him again this weekend. Nothing major. Just hung out at his house and watched some movies. With the exception of him trying to dry hump my leg (high school flashbacks...scary!) and having to eat meat with bones in it (shut up...I have issues) it was a good time.

So.....that would be my dating life so far. I have been way too busy trying to get really life (ya know, like getting ready for a burlesque show!) out of the way to go out on any more dates, but once I do....I WILL RUN AND TELL THE WORLD! :-)

Not as bad as the first one...

So date #2 was not nearly as bad as date #1 (thank you GOD!) but it was still lacking in the sparks department. Not that he was not a very nice, cute and charming man, just not the one for me. Truly, he was almost normal....and we all know that I NEVER SAY THAT! The only strange thing about the night was the fact that his ex wife had the same name that I do. Now, in all my 32 years on this little planet, that is the first time that I have had to deal with that...and it was kinda odd. I had a vision in my head of being call the "new Tamara" just like that sitcom on CBS...and I didn't really care for it all that much.

And while it was not a "match" it was a nice night and it did not leave me scarred for life!

Pre-Date #2

So I am continuing with my social experiment in the dating world with date number 2. I have no clue how this one is going to turn out, but lets hope it is better then the last one. EEEKKKK!
This one at least has the blessing of my best friend, whereas the last one she TOLD ME NOT TO GO. Yes Mel....I should have listened to you!

And so it starts...

Since I use this blog as a way to chronicle the new things that are going on in my life, I may as well start blogging about my second entry into the Internet dating world. It is safe to say that the first go round was just....wrong. And while I did make some friends, I did not find true love and in the end, a stalker. GEE...FUN!
So the other day I thought that I needed to get out in the world again, and I signed up for one. Paid my membership fee and hoped for the best. So far...I have not found the best, but I am going to use this blog as a way to keep track of all that is going on. WHY? Cuz some of this stuff is just FUNNY. And in truth, if I don't purge it out of my system, then it will be stuck in my head forever and I really don't want that!

Date One:

While it started out ok, it went downhill...in a hurry. Let me just start off by saying that the guy
was very nice on the phone and we did get along well. We had some things in common and had very easy conversation. So, based on that, I felt that it would be ok to go out for a drink.
So we sit down in the booth at a little place not too far from me and all is going ok. And when I say ok, I mean...JUST OK. Not anything earth shattering, so the next move on the part of the dude kinda left me freaking out. He got up to go to the bathroom, and leaned over the both, pinning me and wanted a kiss. REALLY? REALLY? I don't think he picked up the look of horror on my face, cuz when he came back, HE SAT ON MY SIDE OF THE BOOTH. Dude...no! I sat pressed up as close as I could to the wall with my arms crossed over my chest in the in the international sign for "you are in my bubble" he took that as...Hey look...she wants me to try and rub her back, under her shirt. OH I MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT!
Finally, I had to call it a night, cuz I was getting tired of trying to move as far into the wall as I could...and hope that no one else was watching what was going on. He, as I knew he would, walked me to my car. I did my best to give him the quick thanks for the drink hug/combo open car door and jump in, but he was too quick for me, he went in for a kiss. ALL I COULD SEE WAS TONGUE COMING AT ME WHILE TRYING TO RAM INTO MY MOUTH. NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I made some comment about being a good girl and did my best to get away from the tongue serpent. And drove home.

So....safe to say that date one, did not go as I would have liked it to. In fact, I think that I have to quit thinking about it as it is sending the shivers up my back. :cry:

AAGGGGHHH

The day started off ok. I got ready for work. I was FINALLY not feeling like ass. It's almost the weekend...all things told, it was a going to be a great day.

Then I got to work. Set my daily crap out on my desk. WHAT? NO? IT CAN'T BE.....

I LEFT MY BLACKBERRY AT HOME!!!!

The horror!!!!!!

Ok...so in the grand scheme of things, not all that bad, but in the grand scheme of my life....SO SO SO BAD! What am I going to do all day? Work? HAHAHAHHA!!!!! I think not! How am I going to catch up with the random people on facebook, or not fall behind on text? It's gonna be ok. I won't cry....or at least...I will TRY and not cry.

Ok...I have to go and *GULP* work now...AKKKK! :-)

I am ALMOST human

I can run a household. Give birth to TWO little boys. Pop in a dislocated knee without even a tear, but when it comes to getting the cold/flu...it knocks me on my butt! WHY IS THAT?? For those of you that may just bet getting this lil gem of a bug...hang on...you wont die...but you will want to. Trust me! I wanted nothing more then to just let the flu win and have it take whatever it wanted and just be done with me. UGGG. It was horrible :-(

I am better today, but not back to myself 100%, but I am thankful for the small victory of being able to sit at my desk at work and not be under the desk. Yup...it's always the little things that seem to make me happy!!!!!

I'm sick..

...and grumpy and for the most part should just not be around the human race at the moment. This time of year historically brings out the worst in me, but now that I am near death, it is just so much worse. UUGGG. Yup...I am whining. I will fully own it. This weekend is gonna suck. SUCK.

OK...I am off to pout...

Lots of things about me

I hate those "25 things about me" surveys. HATE THEM. I will do them from time to time, but for the most part pass on them as I never really know what to say. What random 25 things does anyone really wanna know about me? Or sadly, do I really have 25 things that are interesting enough to tell the world? The more I think about it...I see that I really am a boring person!

So since it is Friday, and my brain is not as focused on work as I need it to be...I am going to come up with some random things about...ME!

1- I have a scar on my back from a tick. I was 4-5 and at the time, the stupid blood sucking thing seemed to be the size of a small dog!

2- Snakes scare the living crap out of me. I can't even handle the SOUND of one in the forest while on a hike. Just thinking about it now sent shivers up my spine!

3-I have a small ranch addiction. I would put it on almost every food if I could. Pretty sure that's why my ass is the size it is!

4-For the last time...NO, I have never been with a woman. Not that there is anything wrong with that, I just seem to get that question A LOT and no one ever believes me when I say no. Not sure why.

5-Being happy scares me...almost as much as snakes. Without even knowing it, I will do whatever I can to sabotage something that seems too good to be true. Yeah, I know that is a sad thought and pretty messed up, but if you know my history...pretty sure you know why I do that.

6-I have never met my father. I have come to terms with this, but it still kinda sucks.

7- I have to be on time or early or my heart pretty much stops.

8-As strong as I would like people to think I am, I still cry at almost everything. Why? I have no clue.

9- A simple card is enough to make my heart melt and will be treasured for a lifetime.

10- A hamburger will always make me smile. It can be the worlds most craptastic day, but a burger will make it all go away!

11- If I were to ever get married again (and the chances of that are slim) it would be on a beach.

12- Coffee. I just am in love with coffee.

13- I miss having my tongue pierced....but it was time to look like an adult.

14- To make up for the lack of piercings I will overcompensate with hidden tattoos!

15- My kids really are great little humans. I look at them and just wonder how I got so lucky to be their mom.

16- My heart gets broken more easily then people know. I may not let too many people into my life, but once I do, it's for real and it hurts when that ends.

HMMM....CRAP....I think that I am stuck for the moment. Oh well...I will go and get some more of my love in number 12 and think about more random crap about me.

It's Friday!

YAY! Not that I have anything really going on this weekend, but the thought of two whole days not at work is always a happy one!!!

As I was driving into work this morning, in the rain and in need of new windshield wipers, I found myself dreaming of someplace warm and tropical. I'm thinking that it's time to pack the boys up and head off to Hawaii for a few days. HMMMM....I think I will put some more thought into that before booking anything as thinking about it is one thing, but flying alone with the two crackheads is a whole new thing. But a girl can daydream!!!!

P.S.
How hard is it to replace windshield wipers?

This is hard stuff

So after a very short lived stunt at some "pole" classes (no...I never wanted to be a stripper. Just seemed like something fun to do) I thought it would be a hoot to take a burlesque class. And for those of you that don't know what burlesque is...think the Pussy Cat Dolls....but in a wee bit more human form when I do it as I am far from a member of the PCD! Anyhow...I should have known that this class would kick my butt when about 1 minute after signing up for it, I noticed that we had a recital at the end of the class. GEE...THAT'S JUST GREAT. I can't wait to dance around like a tard on stage for all the world to see. I did my best to talk myself out of the class...but seeing as I had already paid for it, I had to go. The class so far (three weeks in) is fun, but at the same time stressful. I am not going to lie, the thought of picking just the perfect name...and then the song...and then the persona is hard stuff. In fact, in three short weeks, it's kinda taking over my life...well.. not so much that I need to go to burlesque anonymous or anything, but enough so that I find in my free time, I am online looking for music and dancing around my house. Tonight I had my boys listen to random tracks from Frank Sinatra. Yeah....they kinda looked at me like I was crazy. HMMMMM....maybe I need BA after all!

My first time

Well...to blog that is!

Let me just start off by saying that I am NOT a good writer. What comes out on the paper is alot like what goes on in my head...and that can be a wild and crazy place!

I wanted to start this blog because I am into trying new things these days. Things to get me out of my Cancer type shell and out in the world. One can not sit at home alone every Friday and eat Doritos. Well, one could, but one would be fat and covered with that weird orange dust. Kinda not the look that I was going for at this stage in my life!

So...as I have more time, I am sure that I will write more and keep things up today as to what is going on in my world.