BLAH...

This week has been a rough one for me.

I really can not put into words how I have been feeling over the past few days.
I think it really all started on Sunday at the flag football game and just went down hill from there.
Major funk.

Work has been shitty.  There is some crap going on here that I just can not deal with at the moment.  I am good at my job and I love it, but...there have been times this week when I have wanted to scream.  Head down.  Music on.  Just avoid the drama!

Personal life has been a downer as well.  I guess the whole 'not feeling like I fit in' to any one group thing has really gotten to me a lot more then  I thought it had.  As much as I say I hate people, it would seem that I don't and I really want to have people around me all the time.  Not sure when that happened, but it has and I guess now I just have to deal with it.  It's official-I like people.

It also hit me yesterday that I should not continue with burlesque.  I do love it.  REALLY REALLY love it, but I am just not that good at it.  And in a town with such amazing performers, I do not want to put out any second rate act.  I was reading an article yesterday about the class I took, our performance and some of the girls that were in our recital.  At that moment I felt such pride for being a part of it and great sadness due to the realization that I am just not that good. :heavysigh:

So what should I do now?  I am not sure.
I think that I will be mellow for a while, stay home and avoid the world.
I feel about myself like I feel about a performance and I don't want to put a second rate Tamara out in the world.

Bring on the Netflix, jammies and comfort food....this girl is saying good bye to being social for a long time.