Dear Anonymous-
I read your comment on my last post this morning and the first thing that came to my head was a line from Say Anything....
Lloyd Dobler: You used to be fun. You used to be warped and twisted and hilarious... and I mean that in the best way - I mean it as a compliment!
Constance: I was hilarious once, wasn't I?
I love so many lines from this movie, but this one always has a personal meaning for me. When I am being too hard on myself or negative or just a super Debbie Downer, I always try and remember this line and it seems to snap me out of the funk that I have found myself in.
But in the mean time, could you tide me over with just a tiny little morsel? Maybe in the form of cutting yourself a little slack for a moment of human frailty? Because from my perspective you're far more beautiful than you realize, and wish you could see the world through my eyes.
Moment of human frailty? Because from my perspective you"re far more beautiful than you realize?
Oh Anonymous...how I adore you. But I am not so sure how beautiful you would find me if you were to ever see me during the 'moment of human frailty'. It's far from pretty!
But I will take your comment to heart and I will try my best to work through this rough patch and find my way back to being how I like to be....warped and twisted and hilarious.
XOXO
Tamara
I think you would be quite surprised how beautiful I'd find you in that or ANY moment. Do you care about people you love less when they are struggling? Then why is it so inconceivable that someone would feel the same about you?
ReplyDeleteThe warped and twisted and hilarious is fun. But it's not the most lovable thing about you. Anyone else who reads all your writings and can't see that you have a sensitive and beautiful heart isn't really paying attention. You absolutely have the ability to make me laugh, and I do appreciate that. But I value more that you have the ability to make me yearn for a partner with such a strong heart, and to think about my own life and what stands in the way of finding that very thing which both of us obviously crave.
If I had to guess I'd bet the farm that my mere suggestion that your heart is strong has you reaching for a "you have me confused with someone else" sort of response. But even though you don't realize it, the very fact that your heart is so capable of breaking and longing as it does makes you more alive and more utterly, amazingly lovable than those who will never have the emotional depth to understand such things.
So tell you what. How about for now I use you as the inspiration to do something incredible nice for someone? That why you're still the catalyst for caring about someone oh Scorpio Girl, and while I'm covering that you can do something really nice for yourself just because you deserve it? Deal?
You know it kills me that I don't know 100% who this is, right? I'm going to have to change my settings so that I know who is saying such nice things about me :)
ReplyDeleteWhat, and ruin all our fun? ;)
ReplyDeleteIt's only fun for anyone else but me. I hate not knowing something!
ReplyDelete:)
What? You're impatient and want instant gratification? GET OUT!!!
ReplyDeleteSince we're pen pals now, I was going to add a comment on the burlesque post, but it ties in with this one about cutting yourself some slack and by posting here I'm only monopolizing one thread.
I think it's amazingly cool that you're stepping out of your comfort zone in taking the class. Do you know how rare that is? When you consider the courage that takes and how few people EVER step out of their bubble, I don't see how it can be anything other than an epic win, just by being there. Can you please please please let yourself bask in that success for a little while before you start denigrating yourself for not having been the prima ballerina of your kindergarten class?
This is a lot greater leap for you than for most in the class, which means it took more courage for you to be there. And that alone makes this a success, without tying it to an unrelenting, unforgiving outcome. I know this is crazy talk...but what if you just decided to have fun and not define success in an all-or-nothing way that takes something pretty cool and sets it up to be disguised as failure?
Sequined daredevil...you're kind of my hero. Just for being in the game. And nothing that comes after changes that. So be proud, have fun, and shake-it shake-it, shake-it like a Polaroid piksha!
Did you just call me Sequined Daredevil???? HA!
ReplyDeleteAnd I have fun with everything that I do, I can't help it...it's just how I work. That is not the issue. The shake it (in front of other people) is really the issue!
Just a guy who believes in you. This whole anonymous thing isn't some attempt to mess with you. I just thought maybe you might consider what I have to say if all you had were my words. Because if these words had a face, if a person were attached, you might be more likely to put up your wall and dismiss them. That's what I was referring to in that first response when I wrote "...and WAY too closed off to possibilities around you that might render an 'Easy' button a little less necessary". Be honest...is there not some possibility I could be right about this?
ReplyDeleteI honestly thought it would be just the one comment. Just a small attempt to offer a little support in a moment where you felt overwhelmed and needed a more positive perspective than that of the inner voice of an incredible woman who is so unfairly hard on herself. My sincerest hope was just that a tiny part of you would be able to see yourself the way I see you. You truly are magnificent, and although you don't know it, I do.
But then you wrote this "Letter to..." and it seemed like it would be rude not to respond. And truth be told, on a more selfish note it felt good to think that my words actually had some small positive impact. Because I truly do think you are beautiful. On the outside yes, and a man would have to be some tragic mix of blind and stupid not to see you as physically attractive. But more importantly, I just think there is such a real beauty inside you. And as someone who tends to care about people by nature, I just want you to realize just how truly, utterly amazing you are, flaws and all. That's it.
All the best,
Person A
PS - Who is this "other" anonymous, and how can he possibly not know of your love of a great burger and a G&T? Man, what a fraud :)
Person A,
ReplyDeleteI was not trying to run you off. I just wanted to say thank you for your kind words. At this moment in time, I really need to hear/read them.
Please continue to read and post on my blog.
Tamara
oh...and feel free to answer all the questions about me...if you know me so well :)
ReplyDelete