One box of tissues, eight hours of re runs.

I've been sick with the plague that has been going around, so I spent all of yesterday sewing rhinestones onto my burlesque outfit and watching old Sex and the City re runs. I also have to add that this was done all while on high doses of cold meds.

While in a haze of Sudaphed and rhinestones and I had my very own Carry Bradshaw moment.
Like, heard her in my head, asking her signature Sex in the City type of questions...just before she moved to her laptop to work on her type up her thoughts.

The question, in my best Carry Bradshaw voice was this:
Why do we fall in love with people who have no desire to love us back and to make matters even worse, why do we feel the need to tell them that we are in love with them?

This is what I was pondering yesterday, between sniffles and coughs.

This kind of situation sucks.  It hurts.  And most of all, it's humiliating to have no control over your heart or your feelings.  It's like being out in public and knowing you are going to vomit.   You have no say in the matter, you just have to go with it and hope you don't puke on anyone unlucky enough to be near you.

I like to think that I am a smart person.  Brain surgeon?  No, not THAT smart, but I am smart enough to know not to go out of my way to get hurt.  I don't juggle knifes.  I don't stick my hand in any hot flames.  Stay away from undercooked food.  All things that I know will cause some paint...and possible disfigurement.  So why is it that I cause myself hurt (hopefully no disfigurement) by being in love with someone that is completely incapable of loving me back and just to make sure I poked myself in the eye....why would I tell them that I feel this way? 

The second half of that question, I blame on me.  I have this odd need to tell people how I feel about them. 
I seem to have it in my head that it just might be important to let people know that you care about them and that they mean something to you.  This is a flaw that I will have to get rid of...SOON!

But the first half of the question?  I have no clue.  I don't know why our hearts do the opposite of what our heads tell us.

What I am pretty sure of is....this is why I drink!