To be honest, or to not be honest...that is my question of the day.
This does not pertain to everything, as I try my best to be a somewhat honest person, but I know that from time to time the white lie is needed.
Look, I am a mom. The fact that I am a parent requires me to lie once in a while. Yes, there really is a Santa Clause. Hey look! The Tooth Fairy brought you something!If you don't be nice to your brother, the Gypsies are going to come and take you to live with them.
All lies, yes. And while I am not proud of it, all lies that I have told and seem to be ok with.
I get the lies that we tell to our children. Sometimes we tell them certain things in an effort to keep them pure and childlike (ok, the gypsy lie, not so much) for just as long as we can.
I am not sure why, as adults, we make the choice to lie to other adults. And I am not talking about BIG things like stealing money or cheating on a wife. While I don't like those lies either, I do understand how humans work, and I know why people lie about the large, life changing events.
I am talking about little lies. And more specifically, the little lies we tell to people that are dating or have the potential to date.
To start with, you all know that I have not luck in this area and I have, for the most part, given up on it since this summer.
Recently I tried it out again. And against all my better judgement, went out with someone. Nice enough guy. I really do not have anything bad to say about him. I know...odd for me, but it's true. Not long after knowing this person, he tells me that that he can't see me due issues beyond my control. Hmmm...a little odd, as these "issues" have been a part of my life for a long time, lets say 8 and 6 years. Ok, dude. Again, odd, as you pursued me, and knew the basics of my life, but ok. Never talked to that dude again. And that, if you know me, is really the strange thing, as we all know my thoughts on dating. From time to time, the dating thing does not work out, but there is really no reason why you can't be friends. I guess I am odd when it comes to that. Turns out that the reasons he gave me about not wanting to see me again were not 100% the truth. The truth was more along the lines of, I really have not broken up with my ex, like I said I did and feel guilty that you and I have been hanging out.
Ok, that was a bit of a douche move to lie about that one (and P.S. Portland is a really small town. Lies seem to have a way of coming to the surface at some point.) but I probably would have understood. And honestly, I knew the guy like a minute, so I was not invested in this either way. The truth really would have been the best call here.
Why are we not honest just from the start? Not like a mean and nasty honesty, but enough honesty to leave the other person still feeling some respect for the other party.
And I know that I am guilty of this as well as I was not really in a spot to date someone as my heart is wrapped up in a no win situation that will only have to get better with time. I guess I should have said this to him when he asked me out again, but I thought that hanging out with him would help the heart situation. So, It would seem that once again, I suck too.
I think that I am going to by best to be a bit more open and honest. Well, if I ever do date again, and I just don't see that in the cards for a while, but if I do...I think I will give it a try.
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